


I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire

by SkylarEQuinn



Series: InkVerse [8]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 05:41:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 38,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11029806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkylarEQuinn/pseuds/SkylarEQuinn
Summary: InkVerse WWII Human AU. Antonio Fernandez Carriedo gets a lot more than he signed up for when he agrees to save Italian artwork from the Germans alongside Lovino Vargas and the American military. With Lovino's random mood swings and dealing with constantly fearing being shot at, how will Antonio ever find the peace needed to sort out his feelings on what really matters to him?





	1. Chapter 1

Summer, 1942, A Small Italian Village

Lovino Vargas grumbled to himself as he waited outside of his grandfather's shop. Where was that stupid Spaniard anyway? He was supposed to be there by then anyway. He impatiently pushed his chocolate-colored bangs out of his rust-colored eyes as he cursed the sun for being so hot. It just had to be the hottest season that the man decided to come. Curse that Spanish bastard!

Then a man walked up to him. He was tall with curly, brown hair and tanned skin. His green eyes flashed with wonder and mystery and something else that Lovino couldn't identify. But it was right then and there that he knew. That was the man he and his grandfather had been waiting for.

"Salve," Lovino greeted, though it came out as more of a scoff than anything.

"Salve," the Spaniard cheerfully said back. "Parla inglese? Parlo inglese meglio che italiano."

Lovino blinked at him for a moment. "Of course we speak English here. It is becoming a more popular language, you know." He shook his head at the man. "Come inside." He opened the door to the shop and led the man inside, quickly flipping the sign from "Open" to "Closed" on his way in and locking the door after them.

"Antonio?" Roma Vargas asked, looking up from the front counter of the shop. He looked like an older Lovino, but much taller and more rough around the edges, as if he had been in many fights and won all of them.

"Roma Vargas, we meet at last," the Spaniard said, extending his hand toward the taller Italian man. "I am pleased to finally make your acquaintance. I assume this is one of the two grandsons you were always writing about?"

"That is correct," Roma proudly stated with a chuckle. "This is the elder of the two, Lovino. Say hello to him, Lovi."

"I'm not five," Lovino grumbled to his grandfather, glaring at him. He then fixed his glare onto Antonio. "I'm Lovino Vargas. Nice to meet you."

The Spaniard grinned widely. "My name is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo," he greeted. "It is an honor to meet any family of the great Roma Vargas! Your grandfather here is a hero, you know that?"

"I get it!" Lovino snapped, glare turning icy.

Antonio blinked in surprise and turned to Roma when Lovino walked to another part of the shop to busy himself with sweeping up for his grandfather. "Did I say something wrong?" he asked quietly.

"The war that I fought in, I fought alongside his father," Roma explained. "I was the only one who came home. His mother died while we were gone, leaving him and his brother alone with their grandmother, who passed just last year. Lovi and his brother have seen their fair share of tragedy."

"Where is his brother?" Antonio asked. "Is his brother all right?"

Roma nodded. "Some godforsaken voice in that boy's head told him to enlist in the army," he said, shaking his head. "I tried to stop him, but their grandmother and I always encouraged the boys to be free spirits." He sighed. "I pray for him every night."

Antonio frowned. "I will keep him in my prayers as well, Roma. Were he and Lovino close?"

"They are only a year apart in age," Roma said with a nod. "Whenever I was gone or anything, Lovino always looked after his brother as if it were his duty to do so. But now he can't ensure his brother's safety, and doesn't even have a guarantee that he'll even come home from this war. I know he's suffering silently, but there's nothing any of us can do for him until he's ready to talk."

Antonio nodded. "I kind of understand that," he said. "Though I am an only child, I was very close to some of my cousins when I was growing up. I would be very lost if any of them went off to war. Some of them were even upset about me coming here to do this job with you two."

"Oh no, I'm not the one doing it," Roma said, shaking his head. "I'm just working behind the scenes, telling you two where to scout out. The one you'll be working with is Lovino."

"It'll be just Lovino and me?" Antonio asked. He suddenly felt unsure, remembering Lovino's icy gaze on him. "But I'm not sure that he even likes me all that much.

"Don't take it too much to heart," Roma cheerfully said, clapping a hand onto Antonio's shoulder. "Our Lovi doesn't like anyone!"

.

"How long do I have to sit and talk to you?" Lovino asked, annoyed. He didn't want to be alone in this room with him, that stupid Spaniard. He would much rather be taking a nap or playing soccer alone or something else. Anything other than sitting with that stupid Spaniard with those green eyes that made him feel awkward and weird.

"Your grandfather wants us to get to know each other better is all," Antonio explained. "So go ahead. Ask me any questions. I'm an open book. Lay it on me."

"You have a weird accent," Lovino stated flatly. He sighed. "Fine. You want me to ask questions, I'll ask a question. Why did you come here all the way from Spain to save Italian artwork? Why would you risk so much for a country that's not even your country?"

"Because I'm passionate about the arts," Antonio answered as if he were answering a question as simple as "What is your favorite color?". He blinked at Lovino from across the table. "Artwork does not belong in the hands of the people who don't deserve to own it. This art deserves to stay in Italy, where it belongs."

"I agree with you there," Lovino said with a nod. "That's what we're going to do. We're going to make sure those lousy Germans don't get their nasty hands on it."

"But what about the men in the Italian military that are working with the Germans?" Antonio asked. "We will have to worry about them as well. Not all men feel the way we do about the artwork. Some of them consider the Germans our allies."

"I suppose you're referring to Feli," Lovino snarled at him.

"Feli?" Antonio asked.

"My brother," the Italian growled at him.

"I was referring to any Italian troop in general."

"Don't be playing stupid with me," Lovino barked at him. "You were indirectly talking about my brother! I heard my grandfather talking to you earlier today! Don't talk about Feliciano like you know him, because you don't! He would never side with the Germans on anything!" His face was red with rage as he stood up. "You don't know a thing about my brother!" He turned on his heel and stormed from the room in a white-hot fury.

Antonio sat at the table and blinked in surprise. He had completely forgotten that Lovino's little brother was in the Italian military, but now he was sure he would never forget.

.

Antonio prepared to leave for a room at the nearest inn later that evening, feeling a little discouraged. He was almost certain that his job would be a lot harder if Lovino remained as difficult as he was being at the current time. It had been nearly an hour since his outburst, and there had still been not even a single chance of reconciliation between the two.

"Where do you think you're going?" Roma asked him, walking over to the door of the shop. "You work with us on a mission this important, and you stay under our roof."

"But Lovino is mad at me and I really don't want to cause any awkward tension under the roof," Antonio explained.

"Lovino is always mad at everyone," Roma said, blowing it off with a wave of his hand. "There is always awkward tension where he is involved. You learn to ignore it and you get used to it after awhile. It's honestly a part of his charm after awhile."

Antonio blinked in surprise. "His charm?"

"We Vargases all have some sort of charm," he explained. "Mine is my devastatingly good looks. Their father's was his way with words. Lovino's is the way his bad temper. It makes the ladies swoon after awhile. His brother is very artistically talented. My daughters are both the loveliest beings to walk the earth, like their mother was." He smiled proudly. "We all have charm that we carry. It's a natural thing, and Lovino's is his temper."

Antonio thought about it, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. "That does seem to make sense now," he said. "I could see it. My family is very musical. That is our charm."

"See?" Roma said, smiling widely. "Charm runs in our blood. I knew you would understand! Now come on in, my boy! Make yourself at home in the guest room upstairs! I'll show you the way!"

Roma led him up the back stairs of the shop into the living quarters where Lovino was lounged on the couch, reading a book, though Antonio couldn't see the title. The hallway Roma led Antonio down was covered with framed photographs of Lovino and a boy who looked nearly identical to him, except for his auburn hair and a curl on the left side. Antonio figured that must be Feliciano. There were also pictures of a boy with loose, golden curls and dancing, blue eyes and another boy with loose, dark curls and flashing, green eyes. Those must be their cousins.

Antonio walked into a room with a twin-sized bed and a small chest of drawers. There was a wash basin and a small arm chair in the corner. That was it for furnishings. He smiled. "Thank you for your hospitality," he said, setting his backpack down on the bed.

"A friend of Italy is a friend of the Vargas family," Roma cheerfully told him.

"Then consider me a friend," Antonio said.

"That's what I like to hear, Antonio," the older man said. "I'm sure Lovino would be glad to hear as well."

Doubtful, Antonio thought, but he kept that to himself. "Are you sure he'll get over what happened earlier?" he asked after a moment.

"Lovi gets over things fairly quickly," Roma answered. "He just doesn't like talking about his brother much, so he avoids it at any possible chance. But you didn't mean it, so it's not like I'm going to hold it over your head. Just be a little more careful in the future is all I ask."

Antonio nodded. "I can do that," he quickly said.

"How old are you anyway, Antonio?" Roma asked. "I've never asked you that before, but you couldn't be too much older than my Lovino, could you?"

"I'm twenty-five years old," the Spaniard answered, blinking in surprise. "How old is Lovino?"

Roma let out a laugh. "He's just turned twenty a few months ago." He smiled to himself. "Believe it or not, but he and his younger brother share the same birthday even. They're that close, but no one knows it but those who lived with them." He sighed. "Sometimes Feliciano will write home on a bad day, just to talk about how much he misses Lovino. Those boys are really close, even if Lovino always acted as if they weren't."

"That sounds like me and mis primos," Antonio fondly recalled. "We didn't always get along, but I love them all so dearly." He smiled. "Family is family. There's no changing things like that. But in the end, who would want to?"

"I'm glad that you've reached that point in life," Roma said, smiling. "Let's hope our Lovino reaches it soon as well." He sighed. "Anyway, dinner will be ready soon."

"Gracias, Roma," Antonio gratefully said, smiling. "I am truly thankful for your kindness and hospitality."

"Grandpa, the food is finished," Lovino flatly stated, walking in. He glanced over at Antonio. "Are you eating as well? Do I need to set out a plate for you?"

"That's kind of you to ask, Lovi," Roma answered. "Yes, he will be eating with us. Please set out a plate for him as well." He patted Lovino's head. "Thanks for helping with dinner."

"Whatever," Lovino sighed and left the room.

After Roma left the room, Antonio decided to get some things put away before joining them. As he placed things into the chest of drawers. His mind began to wander as he placed his shirts in the drawers. He was starting to see how Lovino's temper was part of his charm. He could see how it worked for him.

Antonio chuckled to himself as he thought of Lovino when he first met him. He sensed a slight hint of fear from the Italian boy at first, though he didn't understand why? There was nothing about him to be afraid of. He decided to shrug it off and join the two for dinner.

At the table, Antonio was seated across from Lovino with Roma at the head. Lovino wouldn't even look at Antonio, much less speak to him unless if it was to pass him something that he couldn't reach. It was an awkward meal for Antonio with Roma's constant cheerful banter and Lovino's gruff replies, but he managed to make it through.

As he laid in bed that night, he could hear Lovino playing his acoustic guitar in the room just across the hall. It sounded nice, but he was playing just the same thing over again, the same guitar riff over and over, as if he were trying to memorize it. Antonio wished he understood more Italian so he could make out what Lovino was singing, but instead he just listened as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

.

"What were you singing last night?" Antonio asked Lovino as they sat together to try again to get to know each other after breakfast.

Lovino blinked at him in surprise for a moment before his eyes widened. "Wait, you heard that?" he asked. His face flushed tomato red in embarrassment. "It was nothing! You heard nothing last night, understand? Nothing at all!"

Antonio laughed playfully. "So it was nothing at all, eh? Why would you assume that something as beautiful as music was nothing?"

"Because I don't sing," Lovino growled at him. "That is my brother who sings. I don't, got that?"

"I understand," the Spaniard answered, smiling easily as he put his hands up in defense.

"Don't ever forget it either," Lovino huffed at him. "Stupid Spaniards thinking I sing," he grumbled to himself. He sighed and ran an impatient hand through his hair. "You are just a stupid bastardo. Just stupid."

"Estupido, got it," Antonio cheerfully agreed, smiling. He nodded to Lovino to appease him, laughing as he did so. "But what does that make you, Lovino Vargas?"

Lovino glared at him. "What do you think it makes me? I'm the smart one here! I'm the Italian after all!" He smirked confidently. "You're just my companion."

"I'm fine with that," Antonio stated with an indifferent shrug. "That just means you have to do all of the planning and leading." He leaned back in his chair. "Less work for me."

"Grandpa does all of that," Lovino said. "We just have to go wherever he tells us to go next. And do not doubt my leadership skills." He scoffed and Antonio. "I'll have you know that I make a remarkable leader when I need to lead."

"I'll trust your own judgement of yourself," Antonio said. "But if you ever need to hand over the reins, just say the word." He smiled at Lovino and saluted him. "I'm here at your disposal, Captain Vargas!"

Lovino sighed. "You're so easygoing and happy-go-lucky that it really annoys me."

"Maybe you're the one who's annoying," Antonio stated. "Have you ever thought of loosening up and having fun? Your abuelo says you're only twenty. You're five years younger than me, but you act like a grumpy old man. Perhaps you should loosen up and have some fun."

"When you're forced to grow up and skip your childhood, you don't exactly miss it once it's gone," Lovino told him. "Unlike you, who seems like you're stuck in it."

"You don't always have to be an adult, you know," Antonio said. "There's a time for work, and a time for play, Lovino. Always remember that."

Lovino rolled his eyes. "I think we're done for now," he stiffly stated. "I have more reading to do anyway. Not that this isn't...fun. Or whatever you would refer to it as where you come from." He stood from his chair. "I'll see you at lunch."

Antonio watched Lovino exit as he pondered how there had to be a way to break that weird, protective barrier that man put up around himself. He wracked his brain long after the Italian had left the room. There were many ideas swimming through his mind, but none of them seemed right. His mind was starting to overwhelm him with thoughts of Lovino that were beginning to confuse him.

At first he was thinking of ways to get Lovino to open up to him in a personal way, as in to get him to talk about his brother and such. Within a matter of minutes, he was thinking of Lovino in romantic ways that confused him. He wasn't like that! Why was he thinking of Lovino in such ways? That was nonsense!

Antonio rigorously shook his head as he stood to get rid of the thoughts of him and Lovino as lovers. That was never going to happen! He was freaked out and ran to the sink to splash water on his face to make sure he was awake. His face dripped cold water as he reached for a towel, internally scolding himself. There wa no way he could ever think thoughts like those ever again. He was not that kind of man, and he was almost certain that Lovino wasn't either!

.

Lovino sat up in his bedroom after talking to Antonio, reading the same line in his book over and over. He couldn't focus, and he blamed that stupid Spaniard. Ever since Antonio had showed up, he hadn't been able to focus on anything, not even his guitar. Last night, he had played the same part over and over, forgetting what came next, when he had never forgotten a note of that song before. What was wrong with him?

Frustrated, Lovino threw his book across the room and watched as it smacked against the wall and slid down, making a dull thumping noise as it hit the floor. For some reason, the thumping noise satisfied Lovino as he leaned against the wall his bed was against. He sighed out loudly and blew his bangs out of his face.

"What is wrong with you?" he demanded of himself. "Ever since that stupid bastardo showed up, you've been acting all weird!"

He slammed his fist against his wall and then punched his pillow in frustration as he thought of that strange, unidentifiable thing he noticed about Antonio's eyes. What was it? Why did Antonio's eyes bother him so much? Was it because they were so beautiful? Was it because they made his heart stutter the first time he saw them? He just didn't understand. He wanted to understand! Why couldn't he understand why Antonio frustrated him so much?

But if Antonio frustrated him so much, why did he want to be around him all the time? Why did he always hate walking away from him? And just why the hell could he not get that obnoxiously handsome Spaniard off of his mind?

Then Lovino froze. Since when did he find Antonio handsome?


	2. Chapter 2

Lovino awkwardly sat across from Antonio at the table when lunchtime came around. He was glad that his grandfather was so talkative, otherwise he and Antonio would be sitting in an awkward silence that would make him feel as if he were drowning in it. He hated feeling uncomfortable in his own home, blaming it all on Antonio. Yet at the same time, he really didn’t want Antonio to go anywhere.

Antonio chatted easily with Roma, finding him easy to talk to. He found it slightly uncomfortable whenever he found himself glancing over at Lovino and finding the young Italian’s eyes on him. He didn’t know what he did to deserve all of the awkward tension from him, but he tried his best to ignore it, feeling as if he didn’t truly deserve it.

“Lovino, get your elbows off of the table,” Roma snapped, shooting a quick glare at his grandson. “I’m not going to tell you again.”

Lovino quickly removed his elbows, turning a soft shade of pink. He didn’t appreciate being scolded in front of Antonio, feeling as if Roma were treating him like a child. It embarrassed him to no end when Roma did this to him in front of people. “You’ve only told me just this once,” he grumbled at him. “Calm down.”

“Don’t talk back to me either,” Roma scolded. “I don’t know who you suddenly think you are, but you need to lay off the attitude.”

The younger Italian crossed his arms and grumbled more under his breath, leaning back in his chair. Antonio knew Lovino was grumbling in angry Italian, but he knew he heard the name “Feliciano” in there.

“Maybe he would!” Roma said, glaring at Lovino.

Lovino’s eyes narrowed in disgust and hurt as he stood and pushed his chair in, slamming it into the table before storming from the room. His feet could be heard stomping up the stairs and then stomping around the upper floor to his room. There was the slamming of a door and then angry shouting in Italian.

Antonio cringed. “Is he always like that?” he asked. “It seems as if you have a lot on your plate, Roma. Is his brother the same way?”

“Not at all,” Roma said, sighing heavily. “His brother is the sweetest boy you will ever encounter in your entire life. It’s a shame that he felt the need to join the military. He was so creative. He would’ve been able to do better things than fight in stupid wars.” Roma shrugged his shoulders. “But what was I going to do, tell him he couldn’t do what he wanted when I told him all his life to be what he aspired to become? I couldn’t do that to my little Feli…Not a chance.”

“Lovino must still be struggling with it,” Antonio observed.

“Lovi’s always acted out,” Roma said. “He thinks that’s the only way to get people to listen to or to notice him. Little does he know that we’ve always been watching him.” He sighed. “It’s just that he thinks we never were because we were too busy watching his brother, because that’s what his mother always did.”

“His mother played favorites?” Antonio asked.

Roma sighed and nodded. “She was not a good woman, but those boys loved her dearly, so we could never say anything negative about her. Once she died, it just seemed wrong to speak ill of the dead.” He shrugged. “But she always favored her younger son over the older, and even let Lovi know it. It wasn’t fair to him, but I always treated those boys as equals.”

“As you should,” Antonio agreed. “That is what my abuelo did with us.”

“You understand how important family is then,” the older man said, smiling to Antonio. “You see how important it is not to cut ties with them. Well no matter how hard he tried, and I know he did, Lovino could never hate his brother, especially after their mother died. He considered his brother all he truly had left in the world of their parents, so he clung to him, no matter how angry his brother made him. Feliciano was the only person in the world that Lovino was ever quick to forgive, no matter what.”

“It seems the bend between the two brothers is very strong,” Antonio observed from what Roma had told him.

Roma nodded. “That it is, Antonio. I believe that it will never be broken by anything. Lovino loves his brother dearly, and I don’t think that anything will ever come in the way of that. Yet I don’t think Lovino will ever accept the fact that his brother is not on our side in this war.”

“He’s on the Germans’ side, isn’t he?” Antonio asked. “It figures, since he is in the military. I doubt there is any way out now.”

“I just hope he remembers everything that I ever taught him,” Roma softly said. “If he doesn’t, then I just hope he knows what’s right and what’s wrong.” He frowned. “I’ve heard what the Germans have been doing to the Jewish and the homosexuals and people who oppose them, and it’s not right. I hope he remembers that it’s not right.”

“I’m sure he knows,” Antonio said. “After all, with a brother like Lovino, I’m sure he wouldn’t be quick to forget anything he ever learned out of fear of what Lovino would do to him if he did.”

The older man smiled. “I’m sure you are correct about that,” he said with a chuckle. “Lovi was always quick to make his little brother behave when they were younger.” He smiled wider as he thought back. “He really does care deeply, even if he doesn’t seem like it.”

“I can imagine,” Antonio said. He thought back. “My older primos were the ones to keep me out of trouble when I was younger. My padre died when I was just a young boy, so I was raised my by madre until she got sick and passed when I was only ten. Then my aunt and uncle took me in. That’s why I say my cousins were like my siblings, because they pretty much were. I had three older ones and two younger ones.”

“So maybe you can relate to Lovino a little, except for the whole younger brother part,” Roma said. “He really is a nice young man, honest. He just feels a lot and has no idea what to do with all of it. That is why I bought him that guitar to try to channel it, but I’m not sure he knows how to play it.” He sighed. “Do you know how?”

“Of course,” Antonio said. “Mi tio taught me how when I was thirteen years old. I played at my cousin’s wedding six years later. I could teach him if you’d like me to.”

“It’s not that I don’t want you to,” Roma said. “It’s that I don’t want you to let him know that you’re teaching him unless if he asks you to. Does that make sense?”

Antonio nodded. “Of course, Roma. Leave it to me.” He smiled and looked down at his empty plate. “I forgot that we were eating lunch.” His eyes then went to Lovino’s plate, which was still pretty full. “Do you think he’s still hungry?”

“I wouldn’t worry about him if I were you,” Roma said. “He’ll come down here and eat when he’s cooled down.” He sighed. “I had better get back to work. Come help me close up shop at Six tonight. Pass that memo on to Lovino too, eh?”

“Will do, sir,” Antonio said with a smile. He stood and put his plate in the sink, wondering what to do with the next five hours while he waited to help clean up the shop.

.

Lovino sat in his room and plucked at the strings of his guitar. He only knew that one stupid song that Feliciano asked him to learn a few years ago. It was some stupid American song that Lovino hated. Something about setting the world on fire, or not setting it on fire. Either way, it was something about the world being or not being set on fire.

He sighed as he started it up again. Why was it that whenever his mind began to wander, Antonio was always the one that it wandered to? It no longer wandered to the beautiful village girls or the women he saw pictures of in photos around his grandfather’s shop. Instead, his mind would wander to Antonio, wondering more and more about him. And Lovino had to constantly ask himself why the hell he cared so much to know about that stupid Spaniard in the first place. It wasn’t like Antonio would even be around for long. He was only here for that stupid job, and that was it. Then Lovino would say goodbye to him forever and never have to see him again.

Lovino’s chest tightened at the thought of that. But why did it do that? He didn’t even know the Spanish bastard all that well! Why did it matter how long Antonio was staying? It wasn’t like Lovino even gave a damn about him! He was just some stranger who was helping him keep lookout for the American troops to secure an area. That was it!

“Then why are you getting so worked up over it, you dummy?” Lovino hissed at himself, glaring down at his chest where his heart was located. He felt so stupid as he began playing the song again. If things kept going that way, he was never going to finish playing that stupid song, and he knew it. There was no way he could have forgotten it either, because he had played it perfectly just the week before. 

It’s that Spaniard’s fault, you know, his mind told him. You should probably just ignore him and stay far, far away from him. But on the other hand, if you do that, then you won’t get to look into those dazzling green eyes, and what a shame that would really be.

“Idiot, who cares,” Lovino grumbled to himself. “Who cares how pretty they are? It’s not like he’ll…” His voice trailed off when he looked up and saw Antonio standing in his doorway. “Bastardo!” he shouted. “Haven’t you heard of knocking?!”

“But I did,” Antonio stated, confused. “You didn’t answer, so I figured you were too into your music and thought it would be best to just tell you straight-up.”

“Tell me what?” Lovino demanded, setting his hands on top of his guitar and glaring at Antonio.

“Your grandfather wants us to help clean up the shop tonight,” Antonio said. “No doubt he wants us there so he can also talk to us about the job.”

“Or he just wants help cleaning up the shop,” Lovino suggested with a sigh. He looked back down at his guitar. “Now go away, I’m busy.”

“How long have you been playing?” Antonio asked, leaning against the doorframe.

“Playing my guitar?” Lovino asked him. He looked up to see Antonio nod and shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I’ve been playing for a few years now.”

“Is that song you played last night the only one you can play by memory?” Antonio asked him. “Or do you know any others?”

“Did you stick around just to try to pick a fight with me?” Lovino demanded.

“No, I just want to know what level of skill you’re at, I swear,” Antonio stated.

Lovino felt the tension leave his shoulders as he sat back against the wall of his bedroom. “I’m not very good, and I can only play this one song from memory, but I feel like I’m losing touch with it. I’m starting to forget how it even goes.”

“Do you know the lyrics to it, or what it’s even called?” Antonio asked, looking at Lovino.

He felt his heart skip a beat as Antonio’s green eyes rested solely on him. “No,” he softly said. “I don’t really remember much about the song, except for how to play it, but now I barely even remember that. All I know is that it’s something about the world being set on fire or not being set on fire.”

“Well that puts you in a situation then, doesn’t it?” Antonio sighed. “If I ever hear the song, perhaps I could help you with it.”

Lovino’s heart slammed up into his throat, though he tried to act like it didn’t. “Why would you do something as nice as that for someone you’ve just met, someone you barely know?”

“I guess you could say I’m a nice guy,” Antonio said.

“Whatever,” Lovino said. “What you choose to do with your spare time is up to you.” He was quiet for a moment. “But thank you.”

“De nada,” Antonio said, waving it away with a smile. “Your family is so kind as to let me stay with them. It’s the least I could do. So what made you want to learn the song?”

Lovino was quiet for awhile before saying, “My brother really liked it. It was one of his favorite songs. I used to play it, and he would sing it. That’s why I don’t remember the lyrics too well. It was because it wasn’t my job to sing it, it was his.”

“I see,” Antonio said. “It seems I’ll have to find a way to listen to this song somehow before I have to return to Spain.”

“Why do you say that?” Lovino asked, eyeing him curiously.

“If I’m going to help you remember how to play it, I’ll have to listen to it, right?” Antonio asked.

“I guess I’ll have to take back what I said,” Lovino said. “You’re not so bad, bastardo. I mean, Antonio.” He offered Antonio a rare half-smile, still not really remembering how to truly smile all the way. Something like that would take a lot more time and effort to practice. For now, that would have to do.

“This is a nice start,” Antonio said. “Let’s start over again with that. Hello, Lovino. I’m Antonio Fernandez Carriedo.”

“You have a pretty long name,” Lovino commented, still wearing his half-smile, “but I guess I can just call you Antonio for now.”

.

That night as Antonio laid in bed, he heard Lovino playing that same guitar riff over and over, never getting past that part. He wondered if he was doing it on purpose, or if he had truly forgotten that one song that his brother had loved so much. From what Roma had said, Antonio didn’t truly believe that Lovino would have forgotten something that his brother loved that much, if he had learned it for him.

Lovino sat in his room and played the guitar riff over and over, not because he forgot the rest, but because that was all he could play before his mind began to wander. He couldn’t stop thinking about the beautifully wonderful green-eyed Spaniard who was just across the hall from him. His mind wouldn’t stop plaguing him with thoughts of how badly he wanted to touch those dark curls or just get lost in those green orbs of Antonio’s.

Roma had always told Lovino that everyone’s eyes told a story. Lovino had always been curious about what kind of story his eyes told. Whenever he met someone new, he always made sure to study their eyes to see right away whether they were a happy or a sad person, but with Antonio, he just wasn’t quite sure on the matter.

Antonio’s flashy, green eyes told Lovino many things. They told of promise and hope, but they also told him of sadness and hardship, but most of all, joy. Antonio seemed so happy that Lovino would have never guessed that he had ever seen a sad time in his life without looking into his eyes and seeing it himself.

Lovino had once looked into a mirror when he was younger to try to see what his eyes told, but he didn’t get very far when all he saw was a sad, little boy looking back at him. He wondered if that was why people shot him pitying glances whenever they saw him. 

His brother never got pity from anyone. His brother was always the happy, laughing one without a care in the world. That always got Lovino, how people were always telling him that he should be more like his brother, always forgetting who was the older one, forgetting who remembered more, who had seen more. There was a reason as to why Lovino was not as happy and joyful as his younger brother.

He looked down at the guitar. It was no use. He couldn’t play it anymore and set it against the corner of the wall and sighed. So much for remembering the song that he had learned just for his brother all those years ago. Lovino sighed as he remembered how happy his brother had been when he had played the song for him the first time, and the laughter it brought from his brother’s lips. Both of them had been so happy, his brother because Lovino had learned it just for him, and Lovino because for once he felt like he had finally done something right.

Tears pricked Lovino’s eyes at just the thought of that memory. He didn’t want to go on remembering things that no longer mattered. He didn’t want to think about things that didn’t even make sense in the kind of world they lived in anymore. Why waste his time on things that didn’t matter if he could focus on things that were more important? It was better to focus on things that could help him now instead of things that would only drag him down.

Lovino crawled into bed with a sigh. “I miss you, fratello,” he sighed out with a frown. “I hope you’re doing well. May God be keeping you safe so you’ll return home safe to your family.”

.

Antonio walked down the stairs to hear Roma singing in the kitchen as he opened the door.

Roma turned to see Antonio. “Buongiorno, Antonio!” he greeted, smiling widely.

“What is it you were just singing?” Antonio asked him. “It was beautiful.”

“Oh, it was just a song that Feliciano and I used to sing together before he went off and joined the military,” Roma said, smiling fondly at the memory. “Lovino was in his room playing a part of it late into the night last night, and I guess it got stuck in my head.”

“Could you tell me the name of the song if you know it?” Antonio asked him, smiling. “It would benefit Lovino if I knew the name of it.”

Roma thought for a moment. “Hold on, let me think.” He was quiet for a moment. “I think it’s called ‘I Don’t Want To Set The World On Fire’ if I remember correctly,” he said after thinking for awhile.

“Gracias!” Antonio gratefully said, smiling widely. “Now I just have to find a way to listen to the actual song, so I can help Lovino remember how to play it on the guitar.”

Roma smiled. “You are a pure-hearted man,” he said. “Just don’t let people take advantage of that. Many can and will do that, you know.”

Antonio sighed. “I don’t mind it. They can try all they want. I only help others when it actually means something to me.”

“And what does helping my grandson mean to you?” Roma curiously asked Antonio.

“It means that maybe I can see him fully smile someday,” Antonio answered. “Smiles are the best things in the world, and I have only seen half of one from him. Maybe if I can teach him this full song, I can get a full smile from him.”

“Many have tried to get that from him, you know,” Roma sighed. “All but one have failed.”

“Who was the one?” Antonio asked. “Well, that is, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“It should be obvious shouldn’t it?” Roma laughed.

Antonio thought about it for awhile. Who would be the one person who would be able to get Lovino to smile no matter what? He wracked his brain as he tried to process it. Could it have been his mother, whom he seemed to have admired as a child before she passed away? Maybe it was his father, whom Antonio hadn’t even heard a single thing about. Then the answer came to him. It was so obvious that he should’ve known from the start.

“Did you get it?” Roma asked, a knowing look in his eyes.

“His brother,” Antonio answered.

Roma nodded. “No one could ever make Lovino smile quite like his brother always could, no matter how hard they tried. It’s too bad that when Feliciano left for war a couple years ago, he took his brother’s smile with him.”


	3. Chapter 3

A Week Later

Antonio approached Lovino in the hallways between their bedrooms one evening after dinner. “Hola, Lovino!” he greeted, smiling widely. “How are you doing this evening?”

“I’m fine,” Lovino stated flatly. “Why do you ask?” He raised an eyebrow at Antonio. “You’re acting strange, and I don’t know how I should take that.”

“May I borrow your guitar for one moment? Un momento, por favor?” Antonio smiled widely, hoping that Lovino would give in if he did that.

Lovino stared at him for a moment, heart pounding in his chest. Was he doing this on purpose? Did he know how he made Lovino feel? No, Lovino thought. There is no way that Spanish bastard knows how I feel. No one could have ever possibly told him. No one else knew how Lovino felt. No one else could ever know…

Antonio remained smiling. “Lovino?” he asked.

The young Italian sighed. “Ugh, fine,” he groaned. “If it will get you to stop asking. What the hell do you want it for anyway, bastardo?”

“You’ll have to see,” Antonio said with a wink.

Lovino grunted and went into his room to get his guitar. Though he showed distaste at Antonio, he was genuinely curious as to what the man had planned. He hurried in and got it. “Now, what do you plan to do with it?” he demanded, handing it over to Antonio.

“Why, to play it, of course,” Antonio laughed. “Come with me,” he said. He led the way to their upstairs living room and sat on the floor, leaving room for Lovino to sit on the couch. “You didn’t think I’d ask for your guitar just to look at it, did you?” He laughed playfully. “Now, allow me to show you what I’ve been learning all week.”

“Learning?” Lovino asked, blinking in surprise.

“Of course. We haven’t had any missions this week, so why not learn something else while I’m at it?” Antonio asked, smiling widely.

Lovino noticed how Antonio’s smile reached his eyes and made them shine like he had never seen before. He wished he hadn’t noticed that, because it would be harder to look away. “Fine, then show me what you took the time to learn then.”

Antonio’s smile turned to a smirk as he began to play the guitar riff that Lovino played nearly every night. Lovino’s eyes widened as he realized what it was. But Antonio didn’t stop there. He began to sing along with it.

Antonio was definitely a man who could carry a tune, that was for sure. Even Lovino was impressed. He smiled over at Lovino. “How was that?”

Lovino was dumbfounded for a few moments. “H-How did you learn that song?” he asked Antonio. “Where did you learn it?” He sighed, upset with himself for not remembering the chords. “How did you manage to learn it in a short amount of time when I couldn’t even remember it myself?” Tears of betrayal filled his eyes. “I can’t believe you learned it…”

“Are you crying?” Antonio asked, surprised.

“It’s not because of you!” Lovino snapped. “It’s because I promised my brother I would never forget, and then I forgot it!”

“I figured that might be the case,” Antonio said, handing Lovino’s guitar back over to him. “So I learned the song just so I could refresh your memory and teach you it all over again if I had to. I learned the song for you, Lovino.”

“For me?” Lovino asked, blinking in surprise. “Why would you do something so kind for a stranger like me? You don’t know me very well, Antonio. You don’t know what kind of a person I am.”

“But I know you love your family, Lovino,” Antonio told him. “And I see that as pretty damn important.”

“Who are you?” Lovino asked him. “It’s like you’re not the man I thought you were.” He blinked in surprise. “Where did the other Antonio go?”

“It looks like you’ll just have to find him,” Antonio said. “Unless, of course, you prefer this Antonio to him.”

Lovino stared at Antonio for a moment, feeling a faint blush come to his cheeks. He had to get out of there, and fast. “I have to go,” he quickly said, making a dash to his room. His heart was pounding by the time he shut his door and sat against it. He was certain of it now. There was no mistaking it at all. His heart completely belonged to that damned Spaniard.

.

Antonio went down into the shop after Lovino had run away. He was looking to help Roma out in any way possible, even though Roma seemed like a man who was capable of doing anything himself. His green eyes scanned the store for anything that may seem out of place at all before he walked over to Roma.

“Would you like any help?” he asked the older man as he walked over.

Roma smiled widely and chuckled to himself. “Oh, Antonio, I heard footsteps running upstairs. Did Lovi run from you again?” He smiled. “I’m sorry about him. He can be a little difficult at times, but I swear he’s a wonderful boy.”

“I believe that,” Antonio said with a nod. “Lovino listened to what I played and then asked me why I did it for him. When I told him, he told me he had to go and ran to his room.”

The older man shook his head, chuckling. “My grandson is such a character at times,” he laughed. “Don’t pay him any mind when he’s being like that. It’s just the way he is. He doesn’t know how to properly thank people because he’s never had anything to be thankful for that was given by someone.”

“People never gave him anything?” Antonio asked.

“No one other than immediate family,” Roma confirmed, nodding. “He has never had friends, unlike his brother, who was loved by many. You see, Lovino has always had trouble with relationships outside of family. But that was always his problem. His grandmother and I always said that if he ever fell in love with someone, that person had better consider themselves pretty damn special to earn Lovi’s love. It’s a rare thing.”

“‘Them’?” Antonio asked.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt you to know,” Roma softly said. “My wife and I always knew that Lovino’s brother prefered men as he was growing up. We knew it before he did, and he only figured it out once he turned seventeen. But he never told anyone but me and her. Lovino doesn’t even know. Now that Feli’s gone off to war, I’m curious as to what Lovino prefers, because he’s never been in love before.”

“That’s interesting,” Antonio thought aloud.

“Which is your preference, Mr. Carriedo?” Roma asked.

“Fernandez Carriedo,” Antonio corrected. “They are both my last name, sir.” He began to think about how to answer Roma before a customer entered. His heart stopped racing, knowing he was safe for the moment. “I will get back to you on that later,” he said.

Roma nodded to him. “I will expect an answer from you, Antonio.”

“And you will receive one, Roma,” Antonio assured with an easy smile. “I’m going to head upstairs really quick. I’ll be right back down.”

As he ascended the staircase, he began to wonder what to tell Roma. He could explain the way Lovino was explained, that he had never fallen in love. Yet he wondered if Roma would fall for something like that.

The truth was, Antonio had fallen in love only once in his life. It was when he was twenty years old. He was training to be a matador, and his trainer’s name was Sergio Montoya Ramirez. Antonio’s heart was immediately taken by the smooth-talking matador. His heart was so focused on Sergio that he had lost his first bull fight and was then told he could never do it again. He would never forget how disappointed in him Sergio had been. Though it was a one-way love, Antonio would never forget how strong his feelings for Sergio were. He was certain that was what love felt like, but if only he knew what it felt like to receive it back.

Antonio went into the bathroom and splashed water on his face before looking at himself in the mirror. “You’re an idiota,” he told his reflection. “How did you not see this coming?”

As he splashed the water on his face, he realized all of Lovino’s reactions to him were similar to his reactions to Sergio all those years before. Maybe they were a bit more rough and cruel, but he was certain the same thing was going on. Antonio realized it clear as day. He had yet the young Italian fall in love with him, just as Sergio had let Young Antonio fall in love with him.

“You did this,” Antonio said, angrily pointing to himself in the mirror. 

“Why are you talking to your reflection like that?” Lovino asked from the doorway. He sighed and rolled his eyes, pretending to be annoyed.

Antonio jumped, realizing that he had forgotten to close the door. “Lovino!” he exclaimed. “I didn’t expect to see you there!”

“I live here,” Lovino flatly stated. “Expect to see me in my own home, bastardo.”

“Right,” Antonio sighed. “Forgive me, Lovino.” His eyes widened as he looked at Lovino. “Did you need in here for anything? I apologize for taking up space.”

“I didn’t need in here,” Lovino said. “I was just walking by and I heard you talking to yourself. It was a little odd. Just wanted to remind you that there are other people here as well, you know?”

“Right,” Antonio breathed. “Other people. I need to go and talk to your abuelo.”

“Have fun,” Lovino sighed before turning and walking back in the direction of his bedroom. “Oh, and about earlier. Thanks. I really am grateful for you learning the song for me. I just have trouble with words sometimes.”

Though Antonio couldn’t see Lovino’s face, he was almost sure that there was at least somewhat of a smile on it.

.

Antonio joined Roma back down in the shop about ten minutes later. “Sorry about that,” he apologized. “I was talking to Lovino.”

“What were you two talking about?” Roma asked curiously. 

“My habit of talking to myself in the mirror,” Antonio said, chuckling to himself. “I want talking to my reflection while brushing my hair and he caught me.”

“You are an odd one at times, Fernandez Carriedo,” Roma chuckled. “Now, about what I asked you earlier...”

“I have never fallen in love,” Antonio said. “I guess you could consider me like Lovino and unsure. No one has ever piqued my fancy, nor do I think anyone will for quite some time.”

“I see,” Roma said. “Then I will be able to trust you with my grandson after all. Just please do not break my trust. If you were to ever develop any romantic feelings for him or vice versa, you are to tell me at once.”

“Yes, Roma,” Antonio said with a nod. “I understand. That would make things difficult on our mission if that were to happen.”

Roma nodded. “I’m glad you understand that as well.”

“Who wouldn’t?” Antonio asked. “Once you’re romantically involved with someone one a project as important as this one, you begin to lose sight of what your real goal is.”

“And I’m glad we hired someone with a brain,” Roma said, smiling. “Thank you, Antonio.”

Antonio nodded and carried on conversation, but as he did, he couldn’t help but think back to when he first got there. He remembered the thoughts he had of Lovino and wondered if he would ever truly think them again. It worried him. What if he couldn’t stop himself now that he knew how Lovino felt about him?

.

Lovino sat in his room, heart pounding madly in his chest. He knew that having these feelings for Antonio was forbidden, but he couldn’t help it. His heart decided for itself. It wasn’t like he could tell it what to do.

He placed a hand over his chest, trying to slow his racing heartbeat. His eyes fluttered shut as he tried to focus all of his energy on slowing his rapid heart. “Please,” he whispered to himself. “Just slow down for one minute.” His hand then clutched itself into a fist. “Heart, stop racing. I need to think clearly for a moment, think logically.”

Lovino smiled a quick half-smile of relief when he realized that his heartbeat was slowing down. “Thank you,” he softly said. “I know that Grandpa won’t like me being in love with Antonio, so I won’t ever tell him.” His heart picked back up in speed, excited from a secret, forbidden love. “Goddammit!” he shouted.

Antonio was walking into his bedroom at that time and heard Lovino’s shout. He leaned across the hallway and rapped on Lovino’s door with his knuckles. “Lovino, are you doing all right?”

The young Italian froze in place. Was that Antonio’s voice?! “I’m fine, bastardo,” he grumbled back to him. Not having any other choice in words at the moment, he just left it at that, feeling completely stupid for calling Antonio a bastard. But what else could he call him that wouldn’t raise suspicion from him? He never called him anything else!

“Just checking,” Antonio cheerfully called back through the door before going into his bedroom and shutting the door. He sighed. If only he could get Lovino to open up and let him in, and to stop calling him a bastard all the time…

.

Lovino woke early the next morning, having dreamed of Antonio all night. He dreamed of Antonio in ways he had never dreamed of any other living person. His dreams were of the two of them as lovers, doing unspeakable things, things that would make both of their faces redder than the tomatoes his grandpa grew in the garden.

But as he sat up, he felt slightly uncomfortable. That was when he realized that he was deeply aroused, just like he was in his dream. He began to panic, having never dealt with something like this so early in the morning. He was too tired to think straight! He needed to get to the bathroom, and fast, without anyone else seeing him!

He stood up and draped his blanket over him, pretending to be cold, even though it was the middle of the summer and it was hotter than hell. He began to sweat as he opened his bedroom door. His brown eyes peeked down the hallway. The bathroom door was open. That was good. He could make it there in no time. His bedroom was closest anyway.

But just before he could step into the bathroom, he heard Antonio in there. Why didn’t that stupid Spaniard close the bathroom door?! He was happily humming away. And when Lovino peeked in, Antonio was shirtless with a towel around his waist, shaving his face. He looked way too handsome for Lovino to handle!

Lovino hurried back to his room without making any noise. There had to be a different kind of approach to this! There had to be another way! A way that didn’t involve Antonio looking so good while doing something so mundane!

His heart pounded in his chest as he imagined Antonio in the bathroom, shaving his face. He had looked so amazing shirtless! Lovino closed his door, imagining the toned, muscular torso that he had seen on Antonio. It was almost too good to be true. But the more Lovino thought about it, the more he wanted to make that toned, muscular torso his, and only his.

Lovino sighed and began pounding his head against his door frame. There was no way any of that could ever happen. After all, he was fairly certain that Antonio wasn’t like him. He was fairly certain that Antonio could never feel that way about another man.

.

Antonio smiled at his reflection in the mirror once he finished shaving. “There, now you don’t look all scruffy anymore,” he told himself. “You actually look like a muy guapo guy. You just need to clean yourself up a little more.” He turned his head when he heard some snickering by the door. “Lovino?” he asked, turning to see the young Italian wrapped in a blanket in the doorway.

“Took you long enough to notice,” Lovino grumbled. “I can’t believe you called yourself ‘very handsome’,” he snickered. He then stared blankly up at Antonio. “But seriously, can you hurry up? This is the only bathroom, and I need to use it as well.”

Antonio’s face turned a deep shade of crimson. “Right away,” he mumbled. “Just give me a moment to gather my things.” He quickly gathered his things and hurried out of the bathroom and to his bedroom.

As he dressed, he thought of how bizarre his morning had been. First, he had woken before dawn and had gone to take a shower. The sun had risen by the time he was out, so he had decided to shave. Then when he had finished, Lovino found him talking to his reflection once more. That was embarrassing in itself. Another thing he found bizarre was that it was the middle of the summer, and Lovino was wrapped in a blanket.

If Lovino was so hot-headed, then why was he wrapped in a blanket outside of the bathroom? Surely he wasn’t cold. If that wasn’t the issue, then what was? It must’ve been so hot under that blanket, so why was Lovino wearing it?

Antonio sighed. That young Italian boy was just too confusing for him. There was so much he didn’t know about Lovino, yet so much he longed to know. But why he longed to know it, he would never quite figure out.

As Antonio walked down the hallway and down the stairs, he softly sang to himself.

“I just want to start a flame in your heart.”

Little did he know, that he had already started one in Lovino’s.


	4. Chapter 4

Lovino joined Antonio and Roma for breakfast that morning, yet he couldn’t bring himself to say a word, feeling humiliated after running into Antonio while wrapped in his blanket. It was mortifying for him to even think about, let alone acknowledge that it had even happened! He hadn’t woken up like that in so long, but now he was all messed up ever since that damn Spanish bastard had shown up. Lovino cursed Antonio inside of his head, yet at the same time prayed a silent prayer to counter each curse.

Antonio chatted it up with Roma as they all ate together, occasionally stealing glances to Lovino, who would flare up with a blush every time. But Antonio, oblivious as ever to what had happened that morning, paid Lovino’s true reason for blushing no mind and just considered it the crush part of all of it, so he made sure to smile kindly to him every time their eyes met, causing Lovino to turn even more red than normal. He would smile each time that would happen, happy to make someone blush, even it it was a brat like Lovino.

Roma noticed that Lovino was acting oddly, but decided not to draw attention to it. He was already swamped enough inside of his head with the storekeeping and the plans for staking out the places where the artwork would be saved. He didn’t exactly have the time or energy to be wondering why Lovino would be turning all sorts of shades of red that morning.

Lovino was the first to rise from the table, having eaten quickly so he wouldn’t have to be around Antonio for too long. After all, that Spaniard seemed to know what he was doing every time he would smile that handsome, perfect smile at Lovino. It was aggravating! He almost wanted to punch him, but he worried that Antonio would never smile at him again if he were to do that.

“You ate pretty fast, Lovi,” Roma observed. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Just fine,” Lovino quickly said, rinsing off his plate in the sink. He then hurried up the stairs to get dressed. After all, he had been the only one still in his pajamas, and that alone was embarrassing enough to be an excuse for him to have been blushing all throughout breakfast if his grandfather were to ask him.

Antonio turned to Roma. “He seems slightly friendlier,” he told him.

“Oh really?” Roma asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise. “That’s interesting to hear.” He took his last bite of toast and swallowed before looking at Antonio. “What makes you think he’s seeming friendlier?”

“I was figuring that it was because he took time out of his day to insult me,” Antonio told Roma. “He actually took the time out of his day yesterday to make fun of me.”

Roma grinned. “Sounds like my Lovi having a good day. That’s a very rare thing, mind you.”

“I can only assume that,” Antonio said with a nod. “It’s only happened once.” He got up and rinsed off his plate. “Roma, do you need any help in the shop at all?”

“Not at all,” Roma insisted, shaking his head. “I want you to get to know Lovino better. I know he’s a very difficult person, but I need you two to be able to cooperate if you want to make sure the operation will run smoothly.”

Antonio sighed. “I was afraid you’d say that. He’s so hard to get along with, Roma.”

“Try a new approach,” Roma suggested. “Use music or something like that. Play that song you learned so you could teach it to him. That could work.”

“I guess I could do that,” Antonio thought aloud. “Yeah, I’ll try that. Thanks, Roma.”

“No problem,” Roma said. He then paused. “And Antonio, you say you’ve never been in love before, correct?”

Antonio gulped. “That is correct, Roma.”

“Then you had better make sure the first person you fall in love with is not Lovino,” Roma said. “I would not be able to accept that. My grandson is fragile and has had his fair share of heartache. I can’t have you two falling in love and you leaving him behind.”

Antonio nodded. “I understand, Roma. I will not fall in love with him.”

“Then we are understood,” the older man said with a nod. “Carry on with your day.” Roma gave him a cheerful smile and a wave. “See you around, Antonio.”

.

Antonio found Lovino reading up in the living room later that morning. He took a deep breath and entered the room, hoping that Lovino would be in a good mood. His footsteps caused Lovino to look up from his book, making Antonio stop in his tracks for a reason he couldn’t explain.

“What?” Lovino asked him. He raised an eyebrow to the Spaniard, who was awkwardly standing in the doorway. “Can I help you, bastardo?” Internally, he cursed himself for calling Antonio that. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t even be nice to Antonio.

“I was just coming to spend time with you,” Antonio said. “Your grandfather requested it.”

“Of course he did,” Lovino sighed, closing his book. “And you’re going to follow his request, aren’t you, Antonio?”

The Spaniard blushed. “Well, of course. I kind of have to.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Lovino said. “You don’t have to do anything.”

“Then I’ll say that I want to.”

Lovino felt his heart skip a beat in his chest before leaping up into his throat. “You want to?” he asked. “I don’t understand. I thought I was a difficult person to deal with. Don’t think I don’t hear what you and Grandpa say about me.”

Antonio frowned. “You’re difficult, yes, but I’ve always been up for a challenge.”

The young Italian pressed himself against the back of the couch as he watched Antonio come closer. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m difficult. I want to stay difficult. I don’t want to be friends with you, bastardo.”

“What’s so bad about being friends with me, Lovino?” Antonio asked.

What if something were to ever happen to you? You’re just going to leave me anyway. Lovino couldn’t say that out loud, so instead he just shook his head more vigorously. “I just don’t want to be your friend. You are a bastard, and you’re only here for a short while. Why befriend someone who is only in your life for a limited amount of time? It’s completely pointless. It won’t matter.”

“Okay, I can see your point, Lovino,” Antonio simply said. “But if we are friends, we can work together better.”

“I don’t need you,” Lovino snarled at him. He wanted to stop being so hateful to Antonio, but he just couldn’t stop himself. His life motto was always, Hurt them before they can hurt you. But why did it hurt him so badly to hurt Antonio? “Grandpa just wanted someone to accompany me.”

“I can understand that,” Antonio said, nodding. “Maybe it’s just that I want us to be friends, Lovino.”

“Why would you want to be friends with someone like me?” Lovino demanded. He tried to keep himself from getting emotional, but he couldn’t help himself as he felt his tears coming to his eyes. Damn his stupid emotions! He wished he could just stop feeling everything!

“Because I know that you feel everything, even if you pretend not to,” Antonio softly said.

“Bastardo!” Lovino shouted at him. “What the fuck would you know?!” That was when the tears blurred his vision. “You don’t know a damn thing about me!”

“That may be true, but I am also very observant, Lovino,” Antonio told him. “I know more things than people think. You hurt deeply because you feel betrayed by your brother. You feel like you need to be more responsible to prove yourself to your grandfather, but that also feels like too much pressure on you.”

Lovino shook his head, covering his ears. “Shut up!”

“And you’re afraid to be friends with me,” Antonio told him. “You’re afraid because you think I’ll leave like your brother. You think everyone is just going to leave you one day.”

“I said shut up!” Lovino barked at him, tears of anger nearly brimming over. “You don’t know a fucking thing about me! I don’t want to be friends with you because you are a fucking Spanish bastard!”

“But what makes me such a bastard to you?” Antonio asked him. “I don’t recall ever doing a single thing to you.”

Lovino pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in them before Antonio could see the tears of frustration and hurt spill over. How did Antonio know him so well? How did he figure him out so easily? “Just go away,” he pleaded. “I’ll talk to you later. Just please go away.”

Antonio turned around. “I’ll be in my room,” he simply said.

“It’s my brother’s room,” Lovino corrected without looking up. “It was never just yours.”

Antonio made sure to make a note of that response from Lovino before heading to the room he was staying in to wait for Lovino to calm down enough to talk.

.

Lovino wandered to his room once he was sure that Antonio was in Feliciano’s room. He didn’t want Antonio to see him with puffy eyes or a red face at all. He knew that Antonio knew that he had been crying, but he didn’t want Antonio to see the after effects. That would just be too much for him.

“Stupid bastard,” he muttered to himself once he was safely in his room with the door closed. He leaned against the door and breathed a deep sigh. This was the worst he had felt in a long time, ever since Feliciano had left. How had he been able to suppress everything up until now? It was terrible?

His tears began to flow once more as he muttered, “I hate you,” to himself. Though what he was wondering was whether he meant that for Antonio or himself. He kept repeating it over and over, no longer caring who it was for. He just wanted his heart to stop aching, but he had no idea how to make it stop. It was all he could do to keep from screaming.

As the tears streamed down, he began to feel more and more calm, like maybe the more he cried, the better he would feel. He could try crying until all of his bad feelings were gone, but then again, what exactly would that get him other than a wasted afternoon according to Roma. He knew he had to talk to Antonio, but he was too scared to, knowing that he had made an ass of himself just before.

Would Antonio forgive him for the things that he had said? Was Antonio kind enough to forgive things like that? Lovino didn’t know those answers, and the only way to find them out was to go to Antonio.

His heart raced as he stood up and walked across the hall. He reached out and knocked on the door, wanting to run back to his room and slam the door. He was humiliated once more when he realized that he definitely looked like he had been crying.

Antonio answered the door, a look of sympathy immediately crossing his face. Without a word, he pulled Lovino into an unexpected hug and muttered things that sounded kind, but Lovino would never know since they were in Spanish. The only thing he could truly make out was, “Lo siento.”

Though Lovino was never keen on hugs, he still found himself hugging Antonio back as a few more tears trickled down his cheeks. He couldn’t understand why he was still crying. What was going on? Why was Lovino so emotional today?

Antonio pulled away. “Oh, Lovino,” he sighed. “Perhaps a song may cheer you up, yes?” He smiled as Lovino nodded. “May I use your guitar?”

Lovino went into his room and got it, bringing it out to the living room for Antonio’s use. “What are you going to play?”

“I figured I would re-teach you ‘I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire’,” Antonio told him. “If you would like that.”

The Italian simply nodded and curled up against the back of the couch, facing Antonio as he played and sang.

Lovino found himself smile slightly at the song. He wanted to listen to Antonio sing it over and over as his eyes drifted shut. He couldn’t seem to keep them open for the life of him. Did crying really exhaust him that much?

Antonio took the time while Lovino’s eyes were closed to really admire him. He had a firm jaw line and his hair seemed to fall into place perfectly except for one curl that just stuck out from the middle and curled off to the right. His skin was so pale, but so beautiful to Antonio, who had only been around people with tanned skin all his life. He had never really been able to admire someone like Lovino before.

Lovino’s eyes flicked open as he saw the look in Antonio’s green eyes. “Why are you looking at him like that?” he asked, dazed. Was he dreaming, or was Antonio really looking at him in an admiring way?

“Like what?” Antonio asked, trying to get his gaze to return to normal, but now those nearly bronze-colored eyes were open. He couldn’t seem to look away. Were Lovino’s eyes always that beautiful? Maybe they were so beautiful because this time they weren’t set into a hard glare.

“Nothing,” Lovino finally said. He blinked a few times. It was real. Antonio really was admiring him. Did he even realize that he was doing that? Lovino decided not to point it out and instead focused on keeping from blushing. If he blushed, then Antonio would know that something was up, and maybe he would stop looking at him.

“If you say so,” Antonio said, absently playing the chords to the song. “Are you sure you don’t sing, Lovino?”

“I am quite sure,” Lovino answered. He smirked. “Why do you ask, Antonio?”

“I would just love to hear you sing this song,” Antonio said. “You’ve heard me sing it, and I’ve heard your grandfather sing it. I guess i just wanted to hear you sing it is all.”

“Oh,” Lovino said. It wasn’t a bitter or sarcastic sound like usual. This time, it was full of genuine surprise. “You really want to hear me sing?”

“Of course I do, Lovino,” Antonio said. “Singing is a way of expressing yourself when you have nothing else left.”

“I didn’t know that,” Lovino said, contemplating it. He thought for a moment. “I mean, I guess I could sing…”

“Only if you want to,” Antonio said, grinning. He was excited to hear Lovino sing, though he wasn’t going to press too much harder and scare Lovino away. After all, he thought of Lovino like a turtle coming out of his shell. If the turtle was spooked, it would just go back in, and Antonio didn’t want that, not when he had made it this far.

Lovino managed a half-smile. “I’ll do it,” he decided after another moment of thought. “If you would play the first few measures of the song again, Antonio.”

Antonio did as told, anticipating Lovino’s singing.

As Antonio listened to Lovino sing, he closed his eyes to make the Italian more comfortable. When he was younger, he always like it better when the people around him closed their eyes when he sang, so he didn’t feel so many eyes on him. If they didn’t close their eyes, he would just close his, so he wouldn’t have to see them, but his aunt would get upset because she couldn’t see his beautiful green eyes. But as he listened, he didn’t realize that he was leaning more toward Lovino, only that Lovino’s voice was slowly becoming slightly louder.

When Lovino was finished singing, Antonio opened his eyes and realized that he was face to face with Lovino, close enough that if he puckered his lips, he would kiss him. His heart began to race as he looked into those bronze eyes of Lovino’s. What was going on? Why was he feeling that?

Roma’s footsteps were suddenly heavy on the stairs, and both men looked away from each other, faces bright red. “Lovino, Antonio, are you two up here singing without me?” he asked.

“Sorry about that,” Antonio said, addressing it to Roma, but meaning it more to Lovino. He saw Lovino nod to show he had understood, or at least he hoped that was what it meant. “We were just bonding over music is all.”

Roma grinned. “That tune is one of my favorites, you know,” he said. “Anyway, I was coming up to tell you that lunch will be ready in five minutes.”

“Oh,” Antonio said. “Grazie!”

That made Roma smile wider. “You’re welcome, Antonio.” He looked to his grandson on the couch. “Is everything okay, Lovino?”

“Everything is fine,” Lovino stubbornly muttered at him. Though his brow was furrowed angrily. Antonio couldn’t help but wonder if Lovino was mad at him or not.

“Okay, I’ll be going back downstairs to finish lunch then,” Roma said. “See you both in five minutes.” He then went back down the stairs.

Antonio turned around to look at Lovino. “Hey, are you--”

“What was that?” Lovino asked, looking up at him. “Why were you so close to me like that? What were you thinking, doing that to me? I can’t get my heart to stop racing now….”

“Your heart?” Antonio asked.

Lovino rose to his feet. “Forget it,” he said. He walked over to Antonio and took the guitar from him. “Tell Grandpa I’ll be down in a few minutes.” With that, he went to his room and slammed the door after himself.


	5. Chapter 5

Lovino sat back on his bed in his room. His heart raced madly in his chest. He wanted to make it stop, but more importantly, he wanted to forget what was going on in his head. He wanted to forget how close Antonio was to him, how he could’ve almost kissed him if he tried to. His heart picked up the pace as he thought of Antonio’s lips on his. It was too much for him!

Roma’s booming voice was soon heard booming up the stairs. “Lovi! Lunch is ready! We’re waiting for you!”

Lovino sighed. He knew he would have to go, but he wanted to sit in his room longer. He knew that Roma wouldn’t understand why he wanted to stay in his room, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to explain it to him either! That would be too much! Too embarrassing! And he didn’t want to make Antonio an enemy...He wouldn’t be able to bear that!

As Lovino headed down the stairs, he could hear Roma talking to Antonio in the kitchen about where he learned to play the guitar. Although Lovino would love to hear about Antonio’s past, all he could think of was how Antonio played the guitar and moved closer and closer to him.

His head was spinning by the time he sat. What was going on? Why couldn’t he think normally? Why did Antonio move so close to him anyway? Why was he so confusing to him? It wasn’t fair to Lovino. He just wanted some clear answers. But he knew he would never be able to get them.

“Lovi, what seems to be bothering you?” Roma asked, seating himself at the head of the table. “I can tell there is something. There is no use lying either.”

“There’s nothing,” Lovino stated, looking at the food on the table. “I have nothing to talk about.” He hoped Roma would just drop it, feeling like he couldn’t handle being questioned any further. “Please drop it.”

“Since you said please, I will,” Roma gruffly mumbled, putting food onto his plate.

Lovino didn’t have much of an appetite. His stomach was doing flips. Why was he feeling this way? Did he want to kiss Antonio? Was that it? Of course he wanted to kiss Antonio! And he was right there! He could have if he truly wanted to! His mind was screaming at him, wondering why he didn’t just kiss Antonio while he was so close! And Lovino had no excuse.

“Lovino, you have a wonderful singing voice,” Antonio commented.

“Of course he does,” Roma nonchalantly stated. “He’s my grandson. He and his brother both inherited my fantastic singing voice.” He smiled smugly and began to eat.

Antonio smiled at Roma’s bragging. He found it humorous that Roma was always looking for a reason to dote on his grandsons. It was funny to Antonio, because from the type of person he could tell Lovino was, he knew that Lovino hated it. His favorite thing to do was watch for Lovino’s reaction to Roma’s constant doting.

“Oh, stop,” Lovino grumbled. “I can’t sing at all. Not like he can at least.”

“That’s not true, Lovi,” Roma insisted. “You have a spectacular singing voice!” He grinned with pride. “Just like your grandpa!”

Lovino rolled his eyes. “I’m never singing again,” he grumbled. He sulked in his chair for a few moments before helping himself to the luncheon spread out before him. His appetite was suddenly back, and he wanted to eat what he could before it disappeared again.

“That’s not fair to those of us who like to hear you sing,” Antonio commented.

And there went Lovino’s appetite once more. He swallowed the food he had been chewing, feeling it slowly crawl down his throat. At this rate, he’d never get any food down.

“Lovi has an amazing voice,” Roma said with a grin.

“Stop,” Lovino complained. “You’re embarrassing me.” He frowned and pushed his pasta around his plate with his fork. Why did his grandfather have to embarrass him like that all the time? Sure, Feliciano loved the attention, but Lovino wasn’t Feliciano.

Antonio chuckled to himself as he took a bite of pasta. “We’re embarrassing him,” he said to Roma, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Shut up,” Lovino grumbled, starting to lose his temper. He hated being made fun of, especially when he was right there! “Spanish bastard, you don’t understand…”

“Lovino, that is no way to speak to Antonio,” Roma scolded, narrowing his eyes at his grandson. “Is that how you speak to him when I’m not around?”

Lovino glared at his plate. Why did it matter anyway? He had already decided that he didn’t want to be friends with Antonio, so why does it matter if he calls Antonio that all the time? It shouldn’t matter how he spoke with him! That was his own business, not his grandfather’s! His grandfather was just too nosy all the time.

“Lovi, answer me,” Roma said. “Is that how you speak to him when I’m not around?”

“Why does it even matter?” Lovino asked. “It’s not like you’re ever with us. And stop talking to me like I am some child! I’m not a child, I am in my twenties!” He found his breathing growing heavier as he grew more and more irritable. “It’s not fair that you two do things like that!”

“That we do things like what?” Roma asked. “Care?”

Lovino rose from his place at the table. “I’m not hungry,” he stated before heading over to the staircase. “Feel free to talk about me when I’m not here.” With that, he stormed up the stairs to his bedroom once more.

.

Antonio glanced over at Roma. “Is he always like this?” he asked.

Roma sighed. “He used to be much happier when his brother was still here.” He looked at Lovino’s unfinished plate. “I’ll save his lunch for him.” He stood and put the plate in the fridge. “He’ll eat it later. If I know Lovi, he’s always hungry.”

Antonio nodded. “Has he always been moody like that, though?”

“Always,” Roma said. “He seems to be very over-dramatic and over-the-top with his reactions to things. His brother was always so happy, while Lovino was more sour as a child.” He sighed once more. “I just wish Lovi could be happy like Feli. I always thought that if he fell in love, he would find joy, but he’s never fallen in love, so I don’t know what to do.”

“So maybe if he falls in love he’ll be happier?” Antonio asked, hoping that didn’t mean what he thought it meant. He was pretty sure that Lovino was in love with him, but he didn’t want it confirmed for the sake of being able to keep this job.

“That’s what I always thought, but now I’m not sure,” Roma sighed. “He won’t even talk to any of the girls in town anymore. And I’ve never seen him have a civil conversation with a man before.”

“Has he ever been civil to men?” Antonio asked. “He’s always pretty hostile with me.” He thought to when Lovino was singing and seemed fine with having Antonio so close to him. “He gets mad at me for no reason.”

“That’s Lovino for you,” Roma sighed. “I’m sorry about him. He can be a little hostile at times, and that’s not your fault.”

Antonio sighed. “I just hope he’ll learn to get along with me. I would hate to make him uncomfortable when it’s just us staking out the artwork.”

“If he’s uncomfortable, then it’s his own fault,” Roma flatly stated. “Lovino needs to get used to being around more people than just me. That’s why I think this mission will be good for the two of you.”

“Why for the two of us?” Antonio asked.

“You seem like a social guy, Antonio. Maybe you can get Lovi to come out of his shell and possibly be happier.”

“How do you expect me to work such a miracle?” Antonio asked. “I’ve been trying to get to know him since I got here, and he’s been nothing but confusing.”

“But he responds differently to you than he does to me,” Roma informed him. “Try being his friend, Antonio. It won’t kill you.”

Antonio sighed. “Okay, I’ll try again.”

“That’s the spirit!”

.

Lovino sat in his room and sulked for nearly an hour before his appetite returned to him. He heard his stomach rumble and sighed, standing up. It was time to go back downstairs and eat.

Antonio was napping at the table when Lovino got down there. Lovino was amused that he hadn’t even gone upstairs to do that. Then a thought occurred to him. Was Antonio waiting for him? No, that couldn’t be it. Lovino decided that Antonio was just being a lazy bastard, like usual.

He got his plate out of the fridge and sat across from Antonio as he ate. Lovino made sure to stay extra quiet so he could admire the sleeping Spaniard as he slept. He loved Antonio’s tanned skin and the way his dark curls would fall into his eyes as he slept. His curiosity got the best of him as he reached out and touched one of Antonio’s curls, immediately wishing he hadn’t.

“Lovino?” Antonio sleepily asked. “Is that you?” He opened one green eye to peer at the young Italian across the table. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah,” Lovino flatly answered, still touching Antonio’s hair. “Why are you sleeping at the table? That’s rude, you know.”

“Lo Siento,” Antonio apologized. “I was waiting for you to come back down, and I guess I fell asleep.”

Lovino’s heart skipped a beat. So Antonio had been waiting for him after all. “That’s stupid,” he scoffed. “Why would you wait for me?”

Antonio stretched and opened both eyes. “Why wouldn’t I?” he countered.

“Because it’s weird,” Lovino stated, suddenly insecure. He looked at his fingers that were tangled in Antonio’s hair.

“And what you’re doing is not?” Antonio asked.

Lovino turned bright red and snatched his hand back. “Shut up, bastardo,” he grumbled. It wasn’t like he could help the fact that Antonio’s hair looked so perfect to touch. Who wouldn’t want to run their fingers through it at least once?

Antonio sighed. “You always call me that, yet I still don’t understand why.”

Neither do I, Lovino thought. He frowned. “I’m going back upstairs.”

“I’ll join you,” Antonio yawned. He slowly rose to his feet and stretched once more. “I shouldn’t take afternoon siestas like this if I’m going to be going on that mission.”

“Are all Spaniards as lazy as you?” Lovino questioned.

“Not all of them,” Antonio said with a wink. “Only about half.”

When Antonio winked at him, Lovino felt his heart skip a beat once more. “Well then maybe you should try to be more active,” he scoffed.

“Says the one who sits in his room and sulks all day,” Antonio countered.

“Bastard,” Lovino grumbled, heading toward the stairs.

.

Antonio sat back on the couch with a book later in the afternoon. It was a book of Italian artwork so he knew what to study up on. He was intrigued by how many of the statues were nude, men and women alike. He decided that the Italians must have been very devoted to their art in the Renaissance.

Lovino walked over and peeked over his shoulder. His face turned bright red when he saw a naked male statue. “If you’re going to look at that kind of stuff, can you at least got to the room you’re staying in?” he asked. He was disgusted and wanted to make sure Antonio knew that.

The Spaniard laughed loudly. “Relax, Lovino,” he said. “I’m looking into the artwork we’re trying to save. If you’re so disgusted by nudity, then don’t look at it.” He looked up at Lovino and smirked. “Just looking at this statue has made your face as red as a tomato!”

“Shut up,” Lovino grumbled, looking away. He was now embarrassed that Antonio had seen him blushing like that. “Don’t tease me like that.”

“Then don’t call me a bastard,” Antonio said with a wide grin. He knew that Lovino wouldn’t be able to do that, so he figured he had won. “Can’t do that, can you?”

Lovino crossed his arms over his chest, knowing as well as Antonio that he couldn’t do that. “Just don’t mention it to my grandfather,” he grumbled. “I don’t want him to know.”

“Well what do you know?” Antonio chuckled. “We now have an inside joke.”

“It may be a joke for you, but it’s humiliating for me, you Spanish bastard!” Lovino yelled at him, clenching his fists. He realized he should lower his voice so Roma wouldn’t come upstairs. “I can’t believe you would blackmail me like this.”

“It’s not blackmail,” Antonio laughed. “It’s only good-natured teasing.”

“And you ask me why I call you a bastard all the time,” Lovino grumbled, throwing himself on the couch as far away from Antonio as it would allow. “It’s because of you doing things like this.”

“This is the first time I’ve ever done that, you have no excuse,” Antonio laughed. He scooted closer to Lovino and playfully nudged him in the ribs. “Come on, Lovino, develop a sense of humor. Joke around. Live a little.”

“How is getting made fun of defined as ‘living’?” Lovino asked, focusing a glare on Antonio.

“I’m not making fun of you,” Antonio stated. “I’m teasing. There’s a difference, Lovino. Making fun of someone is being mean. Teasing is a joke.”

“Jokes are meant to be funny,” Lovino crossly stated. He felt Antonio wouldn’t let it go either way. “Fine, you’re hilarious,” he sarcastically stated. “Are you happy now?”

Antonio was beaming. “I am very happy. We now share a secret between us as friends. That’s how some friendships start, you know.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Lovino sighed. “I have no friends.”

“Why not?” Antonio asked. “Surely you can make friends, Lovino. I believe that you can. After all, what am I, if not a friend?”

Lovino was quiet for a moment. “My brother has a lot of friends. Everyone was devastated when he joined the military. And I can’t help but wonder if people would’ve been as upset if it were me instead of him.” He bit his lip. “My brother has a lot of people who miss him, but I doubt anyone would miss me…”

“That’s not true,” Antonio said. “Roma and your brother would miss you. I would miss you.”

“Yeah, right,” Lovino scoffed. “Feliciano has always been the favorite. I will always be nothing.”

“You’re not nothing to me.”

“Then what am I?” Lovino asked, looking down at his hands, which were folded in his lap.

“You are Lovino Vargas,” Antonio told him. “You are the only you that is you. No one else can be Lovino Vargas like you can. Embrace that. Run with it. In the end, you’ll only regret it if you don’t.” He winked at Lovino as he looked up at him. “Try it out sometime, Lovi.”

Lovino’s heart leaped into his throat when Antonio called him by his nickname. He couldn’t find the words to say. His blood was thrumming in his ears so loudly that he couldn’t think straight. Antonio had called him “Lovi”! It was like a dream come true for him! His head was spinning.

“Lovino?” Antonio asked. “Hey, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Lovino said, looking over at Antonio. “Yeah,” he said mostly to himself, “just fine.”

.

Dinner that night had a sense of tension about it. Antonio was about to ask about the atmosphere when Roma said, “Boys, your mission starts in two days. Are you ready?”

Antonio nearly choked on the water he was drinking. “So soon? I mean, of course I’m ready for it. I just thought I’d have longer to prepare is all.”

“That’s what the past couple of days have been,” Roma stated. “What have you two been doing?”

“We’ve been getting to know each other, just like you told us to,” Lovino answered. “That was the only task you gave us.”

“Correct,” Roma said, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. ‘That’s all you two have to do. You are partners, in this together. From now on, you need to rely on each other. If you two can’t do that, then you’re doomed.”

Lovino gulped. “Grandpa, what do you mean by ‘doomed’?”

“I mean exactly what it sounds like, Lovi,” Roma answered. “You two will understand soon enough.”

Antonio and Lovino exchanged a glance of discomfort. That did not sound good. Antonio prayed in his head that Roma was joking, but Lovino knew his grandfather was serious. They both knew that if they didn’t understand each other better, they were doomed.

.

“Lovino, we need to set up some sort of code,” Antonio said later that night, pacing in front of the couch where Lovino sat. Roma was downstairs doing inventory, so they had time to talk. “We need a way to communicate without words.”

“I’m not an idiot,” Lovino groaned. “You’ve said that three times. You’re starting to sound like a broken record.” He sighed. “Codes are too complicated. I wouldn’t remember it.”

“Whether you remember it or not is the least of my worries,” Antonio sighed. “We have to make Roma think we’ve been discussing strategy!”

“Right,” Lovino sighed. “Strategy.”

“Well it’s not my fault that you can’t focus when I’m talking to you,” Antonio stated. “You get this weird look in your eye and just stop listening to me.”

Antonio had no idea how wrong he was. When Lovino looked at him like that, he would drink in every single word that Spaniard said. If only Antonio knew that Lovino was paying attention to him.

“Kind of like you’re doing right now,” Antonio said.

“Whatever, bastard,” Lovino said. “Just tell me what to do.


	6. Chapter 6

That night, Antonio sat on the couch in the living room, trying to write out a plan for what he and Lovino would do while staking out the area. There had to be order and no chaos. If anything went into chaos, he and Lovino would be in some deep trouble. He tried not to think about that, because he knew that if anything went wrong, it would be because of Lovino. And that was something he was not prepared for.

If Lovino messed up the mission, it would be blamed on Antonio for sure. He couldn’t afford to have a failed mission blamed on him. It would ruin his credibility everywhere. He would never be able to get another job like this. The whole time he planned the mission, all he could hope was that Lovino would cooperate with him.

“What are you doing out here, ya bastard?” Lovino asked Antonio as he walked into the room. He crossed his arms, leaning over him. He was glad to have a moment when he was actually taller than the Spaniard.

“Again with calling me a bastard,” Antonio sighed. “Why do you do that?” It almost bugged at him. What was Lovino’s problem? Did he know how hurtful that word could really be?

“Because you are one,” Lovino huffed, sitting down next to him.

“I am, you know,” Antonio stated after a moment. His voice was quiet and uncharacteristically solemn.

“You’re what?” Lovino asked, looking over at him.

“I’m a bastard child,” Antonio answered, looking into his lap. “I understand teasing, Lovino, I really do, but please stop calling me that. It really does hurt.”

Lovino was taken aback. “You what?”

“You heard me, Lovino,” Antonio sighed. “The secret’s out. I’m a bastard child. I don’t know who my father is, and neither does my mother. The man who I grew up calling padre is not my biological father. He always hated me, and he let me know it. He hated that I wasn’t his son. Yet my mother never knew.”

Lovino didn’t know what to say. He was in complete shock. Was that the hard time Antonio had gone through, the hard time he could see in the Spaniard’s eyes? That didn’t seem fair at all. Antonio was a nice guy. He didn’t deserve something like that.

“Lo siento, Lovino,” Antonio sighed. “I shouldn’t have told you that. It’s just that you calling me that word frustrates me because you don’t know that it’s what I really am. I’m just a bastard child with no father.”

Once he finally found his voice, Lovino spoke up. “I’m sorry, Antonio,” he said, the words sounding weird coming out of his mouth. He never apologized for anything, yet here he was, apologizing to this man he had only met recently. “If I had known that word was hurtful to you…” Lovino allowed his voice to trail off, not really wanting to finish the sentence. He hoped Antonio would get the point and leave it at that.

Antonio’s lips were closed tightly. All he could do was nod. “I’m glad you understand now.” He was feeling too exhausted and upset to continue with his planning. What he really wanted by that point was a good night’s rest. “I’m going to bed.” He got up and went to the room he was staying in. Here was hoping he’d sleep well.

Lovino sat on the couch, frowning. He didn’t realize he had hurt Antonio that badly. If only he had known. Then he would have stopped. Oh, how he wished he could take it back. He didn’t want to hurt Antonio. All he wanted was to be closer to him. This was not closer!

“Idiot,” Lovino muttered to himself. “You’re just an idiot, Lovi.” He buried his face in his hands. Why did he have to upset Antonio? He wished he could take it back and start over with that beautiful man. Lovino wished he could bring laughter to those beautiful, green eyes, not pain. Why did he have to say those hurtful things to him? Why couldn’t he just be friendly?

Why couldn’t he? Because that wasn’t who Lovino was. No matter how badly he wanted to change, he knew he never could. Or at least he wouldn’t be able to overnight. And that was what Antonio needed at the moment.

Before he could stop himself, Lovino ran to Antonio’s room and pounded on the door. He didn’t know why he had run there, it just sort of happened.

Antonio opened the door slowly. He was shirtless, his flawless, tanned skin on his muscular torso making Lovino melt on the inside. “¿Como?” he asked, confused. “Why are you at my door, Lovino?”

Lovino had to bite his tongue to keep himself from stating that it was actually Feliciano’s door. “I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry,” he mumbled, looking away.

The Spaniard’s eyes widened. He never thought Lovino could be capable of apologizing to anyone, especially him. It was almost unreal. What had possessed Lovino to do this? “Gracias, Lovino.”

Lovino simply nodded his head before turning to leave. “Well goodnight.”

Before Lovino could leave, Antonio hugged him from behind. “It means a lot.”

The Italian froze. His heart jumped up into his throat. He didn’t know what to do. Antonio’s arms enfolding him like this was almost too much! He could feel his face turning red. All he could do at that moment was try not to melt into the Spaniard’s embrace.

“Can we talk in my room for a moment?” Antonio asked Lovino.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Lovino mumbled, feeling Antonio’s arms unfold him. He didn’t know what Antonio was going to talk to him about, but it wasn’t like he could so easily deny him a conversation.

Antonio led the way into the room and shut the door after Lovino. “Look, Lovino, we’re going to have to start cooperating and getting along. Our first mission is in two days. What can I do to make you trust me enough to follow command? I understand this is your first mission, but it’s not mine. These kinds of things are risky and dangerous, Lovino. If you don’t follow command, someone could end up hurt, or worse.”

Lovino felt his stomach sinking. He knew these kinds of missions were dangerous, but he didn’t know just how dangerous. All this talk of getting hurt or worse was starting to make his stomach turn. What if something bad did happen?

“This isn’t like a child’s game of cops and robbers,” Antonio continued. “If we don’t play our cards right, one of us could even end up dead.”

“Dead?” Lovino choked out.

“It would be me, of course,” Antonio stated. “Because I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you, Lovino. Not on my watch.”

Lovino’s eyes widened as he looked at Antonio. “You wouldn’t?”

“Not at all,” Antonio confirmed. “That would mean that I failed everything and everyone. If anyone were to die during a mission, it would be me, understand?”

As he solemnly nodded, he began to imagine how terrible of a place the world would be without Antonio. He was always so bright and cheerful. Things definitely wouldn’t be the same without him.

“I will cooperate,” Lovino stated with a curt nod. “I will do what you say to ensure the safety of both of us.”

“Gracias, Lovino,” Antonio stated, nodding to him. “That means a lot.” The wheels once again began to turn in his head. “Okay, so here’s the plan…”

.

The next morning, Roma was surprised to see both Antonio and Lovino awake and at the table before breakfast was even done cooking. He blinked in shock when he saw Antonio smiling and Lovino conversing with him casually. “Do my eyes deceive me?” Roma asked, giving both men a quizzical look.

“What would they be deceiving you about?” Antonio asked him, returning the look.

“You two are actually getting along and conversing early in the morning,” Roma stated. “Lovi barely talks to me in the mornings. How did you get him to talk to you, Antonio?”

“I talked to him first,” Antonio simply stated with a shrug.

“I am in utter shock,” Roma stated.

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here,” Lovino grumbled. “It’s annoying.” He crossed his arms over his chest in a sulk. “I’m just as visible as he is.”

Roma grinned and patted Lovino’s head. “Si. Of course, Lovi.”

Lovino scowled. “Whatever.” He glared up at Roma. “Don’t treat me like a child.”

“You’ll always be a little boy to me, Lovi,” Roma assured. “No matter how old you get. That’s a guarantee right there.”

The younger Italian groaned loudly and buried his face in his arms. “Grandpa!”

Roma chuckled. “Oh, Lovi,” he sighed out. “You’re so easy to embarrass. I can’t help but do it.”

“Vaffanculo,” Lovino grumbled.

Roma laughed loudly. “Lovino, that’s inappropriate.”

“So is embarrassing me,” Lovino grumbled back, looking up at him. “You shouldn’t say things like that in front of my friends.”

“Friends?” Roma asked, eyes widening in surprise as he looked to Antonio.

“Well we’re partners in this mission, so why not be friends as well?” Antonio simply stated with a shrug. “There’s no point in not being friends, you know. Roma, think a little.” He grinned widely at the older man. “Now what’s for breakfast?”

“I made some eggs and toast,” Roma said. “I also have some fresh fruit. What would you like, Antonio?”

“I think I’ll just settle for an orange if you have one,” Antonio said. “I’m not too hungry this morning.”

“Are you sure?” Roma asked. “My breakfast foods are amazing.”

Antonio thought for a moment. “No, I think I’m okay for now. I’ll let you know if I get hungry for some later on.”

Roma winked. “Okay.”

Lovino sighed and began to load his plate with food. He hated the fact that he was almost always hungry. His desire for food was extremely unappealing. He hated appearing like a glutton in front of Antonio. It made him wish he had a small appetite in the mornings, like he did. He felt fat as he loaded his plate with food, yet once he began eating, he forgot all negative feelings about food.

Antonio smiled as he watched Lovino eat. He wished he had an appetite like that in the mornings. Every morning, he would wake up nauseous from his gruesome nightmares from the night before. He hated waking up nauseous. If only he could get some good sleep on some nights. It was too bad that he’d had nightmares since he was a child.

Every nightmare was nearly the same. He would always be reaching for his mother as she bled out on the floor, just beyond his his grasp. Everything was always just beyond his grasp, and it was horrifying. Why was he so useless? Was it the guilt of his past? Was it because he couldn’t help them when he knew? Or was it that he kept the secret? All he wanted was for the memory of his guilt to go away, and he thought that by doing good deeds for others, like this mission, it would all go away.

Lovino looked up from his food to sneak a peek at Antonio. His cheeks flushed when he saw that Antonio was gazing at him, more like spacing off, but he didn’t care. Antonio’s eyes were on him, and that was all that mattered to him at the moment.

Antonio squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t want to keep reliving all of the nightmares he had witnessed. He just wanted peace from his inner demons, but he feared he would never get it.

“Are you okay, Antonio?” he heard Roma’s voice ask.

“Yeah,” Antonio quickly answered, opening one eye. “Just a headache is all.” He didn’t like being dishonest with Roma, but he couldn’t help but lie. There was no way he would ever want Roma and Lovino to know what he had witnessed at such a young age. Anything but that.

“You look pale,” Roma commented. “You’re not getting sick, are you?”

Lovino’s eyes widened in panic. “You can’t get sick, Antonio! We have a mission tomorrow! It’s the real deal!” His panic showed in his voice. “Antonio, please don’t be sick!”

Antonio chuckled to himself at Lovino’s worry. He had never seen the young Italian that panicked. “No, no, I’m not sick. I just remembered something. That’s all. It’s really nothing to worry about.”

“If you’re sure,” Roma sighed. He was certain that something was wrong with Antonio, and he was determined to find out what it was.

.

Antonio felt much better that afternoon. He even managed to eat a large lunch. As he sat on the couch upstairs, staring at a map, he began to contemplate a plan for Lovino and himself. All he needed to think of was an escape route.

“You sure are staring hard at that map,” Lovino commented, leaning over the back of the couch. “Is it really that fascinating?”

“Not at all,” Antonio answered. His green eyes flicked up toward Lovino. “I’m just mapping out what will go on tomorrow. Then again, it could be pretty unpredictable.” He sighed. “Lovino, do you run fast?”

Lovino shrugged. “I’m a lot faster than my brother, but I don’t know if it means I’m fast.” He then looked at the map as well. “Why? Will I have to run tomorrow?”

“There is a possibility,” Antonio answered, scanning over the map once more with his eyes. “Nothing is set in stone, but tomorrow could get pretty risky, especially if there are German troops staking out the same area.” He put his pencil in his mouth and bit down on it to hold it in place. “Who knows what will happen?” he said around the pencil.

“It’s really that dangerous?” Lovino asked, looking over at Antonio.

“Si,” Antonio muttered, removing the pencil from his mouth. “There is no telling what will happen when we get there, so we will have to be on our guard at all times. Do you understand?”

Lovino nodded. He could already feel the adrenaline thrumming through his veins. The whole mission sounded exciting, but now the fact that real Germans might be there was what kept his spirits up.

“The most important thing is to remember that this isn’t a game, Lovino,” Antonio said, looking up at the excited Italian. “We will have to be extremely careful, or you might be the only one who makes it back here.”

“Why wouldn’t you?” Lovino asked.

“Because even if you’re the one captured, I’ll be the one whose life is taken,” Antonio said. “I would make sure of that.”

Lovino’s eyes widened. He still couldn’t believe that Antonio would be willing to sacrifice himself for him. It was unbelievable to him. “Why would you be the one?” he slowly asked.

“You’re still young,” Antonio casually answered. “You have a lot to live for. Me, I’ve got nothing.”

“Of course you have something,” Lovino told him. “You have me and Grandpa.”

Antonio chuckled to himself. “I guess you’re right.”

“We’re a team in this mission,” Lovino told him. “If it fails and only I make it out, that wouldn’t be fair. If one of us goes down, we both go down.”

“Since when are you so on about us being a team?” Antonio asked Lovino, casting him a quizzical look.

Lovino didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to explain that it was because it would break his heart if Antonio were to die. He also didn’t want to say that it would be a waste of a handsome man if Antonio were to die. Anything having to do with Antonio dying was too much to even think about. Though he knew Antonio would die one day, he didn’t want it to be tomorrow.

“Because I am fully dedicated to this mission,” Lovino answered, heart pounding in his chest.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Antonio said with a nod. “I’m currently looking for an escape route for us, but if that route becomes blocked, I’m trying to find an emergency route for you.”

“Antonio, don’t talk like that,” Lovino said. “If they get us, they get us together.”

Antonio sighed. “Why are you making this so difficult, Lovino? You have a family still. I want to make sure you get back to them. Even if I die, you could meet a girl here or somewhere and continue your family line.”

“Idiot!” Lovino shouted before he could stop himself. “Why don’t you understand that I don’t want any of that?!” His breathing became heavy as he grew more and more emotional. “All I truly want is….” He managed to stop himself before he let out that he loved Antonio. That would be something he could never see himself coming back from. He couldn’t let Antonio know that he loved him. If Antonio knew, he might just leave the mission. But it wasn’t like Lovino was trying to fall in love with the Spaniard. It just happened.

Antonio almost swore he was going to get a love confession out of Lovino. His eyes widened as he waited for it, but then softened when he realized it would never come. He was almost disappointed that Lovino didn’t just shout it right then and there. Then again, how would he have reacted if Lovino had made his love known.

It was true, he had almost kissed Lovino once already, but how could he have done that if he didn’t return the feelings of the young Italian. Was he just too overtaken by Lovino’s beautiful singing voice, or was it something else? He didn’t think he was falling for Lovino. That would be ridiculous! Who would fall for someone so moody and angry? Why would he ever fall for someone who just lived to insult him?

Maybe it was something about Lovino’s bronze-colored eyes. Or the way he put emotion into singing to Antonio. It could even be the way he had just yelled at Antonio just now. What was going on in his head? There was no way he was falling for that Italian brat!

“I see…” Antonio muttered to him. He had to try not to make eye contact with Lovino, so as not to make anyone any more uncomfortable than they already were.

Lovino was still breathing heavily as he stood there, hands trembling. He couldn’t believe that he had almost told Antonio what he really thought of him. It was almost unbearable. He knew he had to get out of there, but he didn’t know how to do it.

“I’ll, uh, leave you to your work,” Lovino said, lowering his eyes. He turned on his heel and left the room, too horrified by his own actions. How could he ever speak to Antonio again after that?

Antonio sat on the couch and watched Lovino go. He was too confused by his own thoughts to concentrate on the map at the moment. He quietly folded it up and set it on the couch next to him before burying his face in his hands. What could he do now?


	7. Chapter 7

Antonio woke up to a loud banging on his bedroom door in the middle of the night. His eyes flew open as he sat bolt upright. The banging continued, and he began to wonder how Roma wasn’t out in the hallway, yelling. Unless if it was Roma…

He opened the door to find a breathless Lovino. Antonio had to reach a hand up to catch Lovino’s fist before it smashed into his body. “Lovi?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Can I come in?” Lovino asked, his bronze eyes pleading. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“Uh, sure,” Antonio said, stepping back so Lovino could enter. “What’s bothering you?”

“There’s something I need to tell you before we leave tomorrow,” Lovino answered, sitting down on Antonio’s bed as the Spaniard closed the door. “It will bother me if I don’t.”

“Okay, then what is it?” Antonio asked, sitting down next to him. A gnawing feeling in his stomach was telling him that Lovino was going to confess his love to him. He didn’t know how he was going to react to that. What would be an appropriate response to a love confession? More so, a love confession from Lovino.

“I don’t want to say it,” Lovino muttered, glaring down into his lap.

“Then why are you in here?” Antonio asked him, rubbing his eyes.

“I….” Lovino’s voice trailed off. “I don’t know…”

“But you do know,” Antonio insisted. “Maybe it’s just that you don’t know how to say it.”

The young Italian nodded. “Yeah,” he softly said. His voice sounded so weak and timid compared to his usual yelling.

“Is there another way to express it without words?” Antonio asked him. His eyebrows were knit together in confusion. This timid side to Lovino was something new.

“Well, there is one way,” Lovino groaned, “but I don’t have the courage to do it.”

“You never know if you never try,” Antonio replied.

Lovino took a deep breath, looking as if he were weighing the pros and cons in his head. His head rocked back and forth for a moment as he thought. “I suppose you’re right,” he finally decided. “Just don’t freak out.”

“Why would I--”

Antonio never got to finish the sentence as Lovino’s lips crashed into his. Having kissed a few other men before, Antonio could say the feeling felt familiar and right. But there was something about the way Lovino kissed him that was different from all the other ways he’d been kissed. He could feel the passion in the way the Italian’s lips moved on his. It was so enticing and intoxicating all at once.

Lovino didn’t stop there. He moved and positioned himself on Antonio’s lap, straddling his hips as his fingers combed through Antonio’s dark waves. His body pressed against the Spaniard’s and he began to feel as if he were overheating. He had never been this close to a man like Antonio. His hands traced the muscles beneath Antonio’s shirt, wishing he could see them. He wanted to see more and more of the Spaniard.

They were only in that position for a couple moments before Antonio was pushed backwards by Lovino. The Italian, still straddling Antonio’s hips, positioned his hands on either side of Antonio’s head as he leaned down to kiss him.

Antonio found himself giving in to the Italian’s ways and wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him down on top of him. His hands brought Lovino’s shirt up in the back, feeling the heated skin beneath it. He gently pushed his tongue between Lovino’s lips, pleasantly surprised when Lovino opened his mouth for him.

Lovino unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged out of it, the breeze in the room slightly cooling his heated torso. His breath was becoming pants as he began to unbutton Antonio’s shirt. “I’ve desired this since I met you,” he breathed.

Antonio allowed Lovino to unbutton and open his shirt, exposing his bare chest. Lovino’s hands were cool to the touch as they pressed against his heated skin. Antonio felt a low moan come from his throat as Lovino kissed his jawline and then down his neck to his collarbone.

But Lovino then continued down Antonio’s torso to the waistline of his pajama bottoms, arousing Antonio to no end. Lovino pulled Antonio’s bottoms down just enough to free his throbbing member before licking up the shaft of it.

The Spaniard had to squeeze his eyes shut as pleasure shot through his body. His moans were long and low as Lovino continued with what he was doing. He knew he needed to put an end to it, but not while Lovino’s mouth felt so good. Not while Lovino was pleasuring him. It could all wait.

.

A loud knock on Antonio’s door woke him up. His green eyes flew open as he took in his surroundings. He was still in the bedroom he was staying in. There was no sign of Lovino anywhere around him as the morning sunlight streamed through the window. One single look toward his lap told Antonio that he had been dreaming all of that. His mind reprimanded him for having dreams like those about Lovino.

“Stay focused,” Antonio whispered to himself, bunching up his blankets around his waist. “Come in!” he called to whoever was at the door.

Lovino threw open the door. “Are you going to sleep all damn morning?” he complained. “We have a mission today, for fuck’s sake.”

“Sorry about that, Lovi,” Antonio yawned, stretching as he sat up. “I’m getting up.”

“You better,” Lovino said, narrowing his eyes at him. “Get up, I need to see you get out of bed before I leave this room.”

“Please don’t make me,” Antonio groaned. “It’s morning,” he hinted, gesturing to his hips.

“What the fuck were you dreaming?” Lovino asked, disgusted. He crossed his arms over his chest and fixed Antonio with a glare. “Not my fault you’re having dreams like those, you pervert,” he scoffed. “Now get up.”

Antonio groaned loudly in protest. “Lovi!” he complained.

Lovino’s glare hardened. “Up.”

As Antonio stood up, Lovino tried his best not to look between the Spaniard’s legs. It was so tempting that he found his gaze wandering down there for a split-second when Antonio wasn’t looking. He quickly looked back at Antonio’s face.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Lovino asked.

Antonio’s face was a dark red. “Can you go now?” he asked, unable to even bring himself to meet Lovino’s eye.

“Gladly,” Lovino stiffly stated, turning to leave the room. “I’ll tell Nonno that you’re awake.” He then stepped out, closing the door after him.

The Spaniard sighed, sitting back down on the bed. He was so embarrassed, but at the same time he was at least grateful that Lovino hadn’t just barged in without knocking. Antonio groaned and rubbed his face with his hands to wake himself up a little more. At least the worst part of that morning was over.

.

As the day progressed, Antonio was rather glad that Lovino hadn’t brought up what had happened that morning. The day just went on like it usually did until Roma handed Antonio the keys to his car. The keys felt heavy as lead in Antonio’s hand as he stared, wide-eyed, at Roma.

“For your getaway,” Roma answered. “If things get bad, get Lovi out of there as fast as you can.”

Antonio nodded. “You have my word,” he said. He then paused for a moment. “Lovino can drive, right?”

Roma nodded. “I just hope nothing too serious happens.”

“I’ll make sure Lovino stays safe,” Antonio promised Roma.

“You’re a good man, Antonio,” Roma said, clapping him on the shoulder. “I know that you can do this.” He gestured between their foreheads, smiling. “Great minds think alike. That’s why I chose you for this mission, because I know how great your mind truly is.”

Lovino then walked into the room. “Time to go?” he asked.

Antonio turned to him. “Let’s head out,” he confirmed.

.

The building they were staking out was nothing like Lovino thought it would be. It was more of a warehouse, whereas Lovino thought it would’ve been more like a museum. Then again, that would be too obvious. But what he pondered was how the Germans knew the artwork was there. Who would have tipped them off about a seemingly abandoned warehouse.

“This is it?” Lovino asked, not even attempting to hide the disappointment in his voice. He stared at the large, ugly warehouse before him. “Who would put artwork in a dump like this?”

Antonio chuckled to himself. “Someone who wants to preserve it would,” he stated. “The decoys are in museums, but the Germans were told that by someone. That’s why we have to make sure no Germans come here on our watch.”

Lovino nodded, feeling a shiver of excitement upon hearing that. He was so excited to finally be able to do noble things for his country, just like his brother. He, Lovino Vargas, was finally going to do great things for the sake of Italy! His confidence was instantly boosted as he imagined himself as a hero, just like his brother.

Unfortunately, their patrol of the inner and outer parts of the building was so dull and boring that Lovino partially just wanted to take a nap and let Antonio do it. The only thing that kept Lovino awake was when Antonio would freeze up, listening carefully for footsteps that weren’t there.

Three hours into their patrol of one of the upper floors, Lovino could’ve sworn he heard footsteps that weren’t his and Antonio’s. His skin was instantly crawling as he grabbed Antonio’s arm tightly.

“Did you hear that?” he whispered, stopping them both. He strained his ears and heard it again, the footsteps.

The footsteps were accompanied by another noise neither of the men had expected. Someone was whistling as they were walking through the warehouse. The whistling suddenly stopped and they heard a deep, gruff voice but couldn’t make out what it was saying.

Antonio ducked behind a pallet, dragging Lovino with him. The footsteps were getting closer and closer. They couldn’t afford to stay in plain sight anymore. He ducked down low, making Lovino duck with him. His eyes were completely serious as he put a finger to his lips for Lovino to see. 

The footsteps were soon on the other side of the pallet before they suddenly stopped. Lovino’s heart felt as if it were about to beat out of his chest. He hoped the beating wasn’t loud enough for the person to hear them. His head was pressed against Antonio’s chest, and he could hear the Spaniard’s heart beating just as wildly as his own. It worried Lovino when he realized that Antonio was just as terrified as he was.

“What have we here?” a lightly-accented voice asked as the footsteps rounded the other side of the pallet. Lovino could’ve sworn he’d heard that voice, but he was too scared to look up.

Antonio was the one to look up first. His jaw nearly dropped. The man the voice belonged to looked nearly identical to Lovino, except for the auburn hair and military uniform that was decorated with badges and medals. He also looked as if he were slightly taller as well. He gulped, wondering if the soldier would go easy on them if he knew that it was Lovino next to him. His hand weakly slapped against Lovino until the Italian looked up.

In that exact moment, when the two Italians locked eyes, there was a quiet moment of understanding. Not having seen each other in years, they couldn’t help but just sit there and gawk at each other, eyes wide and bewildered. No words needed to be said for them to know that they were on opposing sides. They both already knew it, but neither wanted to accept it.

“F-Feli?” Lovino finally asked, being the one to speak up first. He shakily rose to his feet. “W-What are you doing here?” His mind screamed at him, telling him he already knew perfectly well what his little brother was doing there, but he just wanted to hear it from him.

“L-Lovi, I’m here because…” His voice trailed off. “Wait a minute. What are you doing here? I thought you were running the shop with Nonno.”

Lovino shook his head. “I can’t believe that you’re here,” he stated, unsure himself if he was angry or happy to see his younger brother in this warehouse.

Feliciano’s voice was strict when addressing his older brother. “You didn’t answer my question, Lovino,” he stated. Though his voice may have been strict, his attitude was lenient. “I need to know why you’re here, of all places.”

“I can’t tell you that,” Lovino stated after a moment of staring his brother down.

“You need to leave,” Feliciano told him. “This is a military site, and you do not have permission to be here. If we were to have this encounter elsewhere, then things would be different. Since it is here, I need you to leave.”

“What’s this?” Lovino asked. “My little brother thinks he can order me around? I thought we were family.”

“Family or not, you are not permitted to be here,” Feliciano countered. “Now please leave, Lovi.” His eyes suddenly held a pleading look. “If anyone else would’ve found you, they would’ve shot you on sight. Please, Lovi, just go.”

Lovino crossed his arms. “Why do you insist on me leaving?” he asked Feliciano.

“Because you are my fratello, and bad things will happen to you if you remain here any longer,” Feliciano told him, a pained look in his eyes. “I don’t want anything to happen to you. Please leave, now!”

“Major Vargas!” a heavily accented voice called. It made Lovino’s blood run cold. It was the voice of a German.

Lovino opened his mouth to speak, but Feliciano clamped a hand over it. “Yes, Lieutenant?” he called back.

Lovino narrowed his eyes at his brother. He couldn’t believe that Feliciano had become a German lapdog. Words couldn’t even begin to express how furious he was. If it wasn’t a life-or-death situation, Lovino would’ve laid into him right then and there.

“Have you come across anything?” the German voice called.

Feliciano shot Lovino a panicked look. “Nothing!” he called back.

“Keep your guard up!” the German called back.

“Yes, sir!” Feliciano called. He then turned back to Lovino. “Please leave, fratello!” he begged. “I don’t want you to get hurt if I know I can do something to save you. If you love me, you’ll leave.”

Lovino smacked Feliciano’s hand away from his mouth. “How dare you,” he snarled at his little brother. “If Nonno knew what you were doing, that I ran into you here, he would spend the rest of his life wondering where he went wrong with you.”

Feliciano’s face fell as he shook his head. “Please don’t say that, Lovi,” he softly said. “I am only serving my country. I’m just following orders.”

“Do you even know what you’re doing here?” Lovino asked him, gesturing to the room around them. “You’re here to take the artwork that our country prides itself in. You should be pretty fucking ashamed of yourself, Feli. We were raised better than that.”

“B-But Ludwig said we’re just patrolling,” Feliciano stammered.

“You always were naive,” Lovino commented. He glared at his little brother. “Let me guess, you’re following this German’s commands because you’re in love with him?”

“Lovino, stop,” Feliciano pleaded. It was obvious that Lovino’s words were digging into him. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Like hell I do,” Lovino snarled at his brother. He looked down at Antonio. “Get up, Antonio,” he said. “We’re fucking leaving.” In his anger, he pointed an accusing finger in his brother’s face. “But if you even think I will ever forgive you for this, then you’re terribly mistaken.”

Feliciano suddenly embraced his older brother and kissed both of his cheeks. “Grazie, fratello,” he said, breathing a sigh of relief. “Now go, hurry!”

Lovino shoved Feliciano away. “Get off of me,” he groaned, never being fond of his brother’s hugs, especially now that he was furious with him. He pushed past his brother. “We’re leaving, Antonio.”

“But, Lovino, we can’t--”

“We’re leaving,” Lovino snarled at the Spaniard.

“Let me walk with you,” Feliciano said. “I can get you out undetected.”

Lovino groaned. “Whatever…”

The three men walked alone in silence. They reached a rickety, metal bridge that arched over the first floor. As Lovino looked down, he whistled low. It was a good two-story drop. He then realized how narrow the bridge was. Two of them couldn’t even walk side-by-side.

Lovino could feel the small, narrow bridge shaking beneath his feet from years of wear. He started to feel nervous as the bridge creaked beneath his feet. One wrong move, and he’d fall through. Just by looking at Antonio, he knew the Spaniard was thinking the same thing.

As they neared the end of the bridge, there was a loud creak. Lovino stepped off of the bridge, followed by Antonio, but when he turned around, Feliciano was standing still on the bridge. The creaking began to grow louder.

“Feli, what are you doing?” Lovino asked. “Get off the bridge! It’s going to break!”

Feliciano looked up at Lovino with frightened eyes. “I can’t! It’ll break if I take one more step!”

“But it’ll also break if you don’t move,” Lovino insisted. He stood on the edge of the bridge and reached his hands out toward his little brother. Though he was angry with him, he couldn’t bear the thought of Feliciano getting hurt. “Here, grab my hands. I’ll help you.”

The younger Italian reached out toward his brother as the bridge gave way beneath him. His hands clung to the part of the bridge that wasn’t broken as he kicked his feet in panic. “Lovi!” he cried out. “Lovi, help me!”

Lovino made a move to get to his brother, but Antonio held him back. “What are you doing?!” Lovino shouted at the Spaniard. “Let go of me! That’s my little brother! I have to help him! Let go! He’s going to fall if I don’t help him! Let go of me!” He struggled against Antonio’s grasp, but the Spaniard was much stronger than him. “Let go! I have to help Feli!”

“It’s too dangerous,” Antonio insisted. “You’ll fall, too! My main priority is keeping you safe, Lovino!”

“Let go of me!” Lovino shouted, hearing his voice echo off the walls. He knew that within moments, the Germans would come running, but he didn’t care. All that was on his mind was rescuing his little brother.

Antonio began to drag Lovino from the bridge. “We need to go,” he stated. “And we need to go now, Lovino.”

“I can’t leave him!” Lovino cried out as he noticed Feliciano’s fingers slipping. “Please, Antonio! Let me help my fratello!” He fought against Antonio, but the other man was too strong.

Moments later, Lovino heard his brother scream, followed by a sickening crunch that made his blood turn cold. Feliciano had fallen. His legs gave way and Antonio picked him up and threw him over his shoulder as he exited the building.

Only once they were in the car, driving away, did Lovino finally speak through his tears. “I will never forgive you for this.”


	8. Chapter 8

Lovino’s words echoed in Antonio’s head all night as he sat on the sofa in the upper living room. “I will never forgive you for this.” He wanted to beat himself so hard in the head that he could forget everything that had happened earlier that day. Antonio couldn’t even bring himself to go into the room he was staying in at the shop, knowing that the room originally belonged to the man who had fallen to what possibly could’ve been his death today. His heart could barely take it as he thought of the fact that Feliciano might have died earlier, and it would’ve been all his fault. He didn’t blame Lovino for the fact that he didn’t want to forgive him. Personally, Antonio didn’t want to forgive himself either.

Roma came and sat down on the sofa next to Antonio. “Lovino told me what happened,” he softly said. “It’s not your fault. I don’t hate you. I’m not mad at you. Your priority today was Lovino. I’m glad that you remembered that. And I know that there was no way you could have saved both of them....”

“But I still failed you by not doing so,” Antonio softly said. He sighed. “Maybe I just wasn’t cut out for a job like this, Roma. Maybe it’s best that I just go back to Spain.”

“What makes you think that you’re not cut out for this?” Roma asked. “You did everything that I asked you to do. Yes, something may have happened to my little Feli, but Feli was not your priority, Antonio. Lovi was.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t blame you for what happened to my youngest grandson today. You had nothing to do with it. You had to do what you had to do, or else something could have happened to Lovino as well. He just doesn’t realize that yet.” Roma bit his lip. “It’s not your fault, Antonio. None of it is. Though Lovino is upset, I know he’ll come around and be willing to work with you again.”

“Yeah?” Antonio asked. “And what do I do until then? I’m out of work. Do I just go back to Spain and cut my losses until you need me again?”

Roma shook his head. “No, you’re going to stay here with us until my grandson realizes that you did the right thing.”

“Feliciano got hurt because of me!” Antonio nearly shouted. “It was my fault, Roma! He could’ve died for all I know, and yet you still want to work with me?”

The older man flinched at the mention of Feliciano possibly dying, but he kept his gaze steady. “I do,” he answered. “Because you did everything I asked you to do.”

“I don’t understand.” Antonio ran his fingers through his curls, frustrated. “I didn’t save your younger grandson, Roma. I couldn’t.”

“But you saved Lovi, which is what I told you to do.”

“Why does it matter?” Antonio yelped.

“Because if Lovi had gone out to help Feli, then he would’ve fallen, too,” Roma said, voice low and serious. “If Lovi would’ve fallen, then I would’ve had two losses today, and not just one. You saved me from that, and I am grateful for that, Antonio.”

The Spaniard fell silent. He now understood what Roma was saying. If Lovino had gone after Feliciano, then both brothers would’ve been hurt badly, if not killed, that afternoon. But since Antonio was there, it was only one of them. Though it hurt to accept that even one of them was hurt, Roma still had a point. Only one was hurt today instead of both.

Antonio slowly nodded. “I see what you mean now,” he slowly said. “Thank you for trying to ease my troubles. I just hate that I’m back to square one with Lovino again.”

“You might not be,” Roma said. “I’m going to go talk to him when I’m done here with you. I will express to him that you saved his life. He will be stubborn, but I think he’ll realize in the end that you’re not a bad person. We both know that you’re not. You were only following the orders that I gave you. Let him be mad at me if he doesn’t like it.”

“You’re a good man, Roma Vargas,” Antonio softly said.

“And so are you, Antonio,” Roma said. He stood up and clapped a hand on Antonio’s shoulder. “You try to take it easy for the rest of the night. I’ll let you know how things go with Lovino. Hell, maybe he will even come out and talk to you himself. You never know. Either way, please keep your chin up. You did well today, Antonio. That’s what matters, okay?”

“I’ll try to remember that,” Antonio mumbled.

“That’s the spirit, my boy,” Roma said before heading off to Lovino’s room.

Antonio put his head in his hands. He still couldn’t help but feel guilty for not saving Feliciano, but then again, what could he have done. He wouldn’t have been strong enough to pull both of them to safety had Lovino gone for his brother. In the end, he decided and finally accepted that what he did was right. Deep down, he hoped that it really was what was right.

.

“No!” Lovino shouted at Roma. “Feli could’ve died today because of him!” Every cell of his being was locked in a fire of rage. There was no way he could forgive the Spaniard for that, no matter how sexy he found him to be. “Do you not understand what I’m saying?! Feli could have died!”

Roma patient sat there while his grandson yelled at him. “But you seem not to be listening to what I’m saying. If Antonio hadn’t been there, then you would have met the same fate as your brother, and I would have been twice as heartbroken as I am now.”

Lovino closed his mouth tightly. He knew his grandfather wouldn’t understand. Deep down, he wondered how bad Antonio felt about it all, but he didn’t have to wait too long to find out.

“You know, we’re not the only ones hurting over what happened today, Lovi,” Roma softly told him. “Antonio is taking this all pretty hard. I heard about what you said to him on the ride home. He’s taking it pretty hard. Why can’t you think before you say things, Lovino? Why? That poor man is hurting more deeply than you or I will ever know. And you only made it worse by saying what you said.”

“I did?!” Lovino angrily demanded. “He wouldn’t let me save my brother!”

“Because I gave him direct orders to save you first!” Roma countered, raising his voice for the first time. “He was just following the orders I gave him, goddammit! It’s not his fault, it’s mine, okay?! If you want to hate someone for what happened today, then hate me! Don’t hate the innocent man who only did what he was told!”

“Nonno…” Lovino let his voice trail off as he looked down at his shoes. Had he really taken everything out on the wrong person the whole time? He now felt like an ass and was almost scared to confront Antonio about everything.

“Where is he?” Lovino asked after a long silence between them.

“He’s out on the couch,” Roma said. “The guilt of what happened today won’t even allow him to enter the room he is to sleep in. Are you happy about what you’ve done?”

Lovino didn’t answer. He simply rose to his feet. “Don’t disturb us,” he simply said before heading off to the living room.

The sight of Antonio nearly made his heart skip a beat. The Spaniard was holding his head in his hands as if he had given up on life itself. It made a lump form in Lovino’s throat. How could words have done this much damage to someone like Antonio, unless if he cared a lot for Lovino as well?

Lovino quickly shook that thought from his head and moved to stand in front of Antonio. “Hey,” he said. He frowned when Antonio looked up. “Look at me when I’m talking to you.”

Antonio looked up with red-rimmed and bloodshot eyes. “Lovi, look, I’m--”

Lovino cut him off. “I’m the one talking here,” he stated. He took a deep breath. “What I said today wasn’t right of me to say. My grandfather explained everything to me. It was wrong of me to say what I said, and I’m....” He let his voice trail off. “I’m sorry,” he finally mumbled.

Antonio was shocked for a moment. “You’re sorry?” he asked. He sat there in silence for a moment. “If there really was a way to save your brother as well, I would have done it in a heartbeat,” he softly said. “I wouldn’t have left him like that if I knew there was a way to assure his safety as well. I just sort of panicked and took you with me, I guess.”

The Italian nodded solemnly. “Yeah,” he softly said. He sat down next to Antonio. “It’s not fair that it had to be my baby brother.” His hands folded in his lap as he frowned. “I hope he’s okay.”

“I’ve been praying that he is for the past five hours,” Antonio admitted, chuckling darkly. “Lovi, I didn’t plan for things to go this way. I honestly didn’t.”

“I know,” Lovino softly said, trying to choke back the lump in his throat. He hated getting emotional in front of people, and hearing that Antonio had been praying for Feliciano had made him get even worse. “It’s not your fault, Toni. It really isn’t.”

“Thank you, Lovino,” Antonio choked out. “I needed to hear that from you.” Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around the smaller man and pulled him into a hug. Only after a few moments did he realize that Lovino was clinging to him just as tightly, if not more.

“Fuck today,” Lovino whimpered. “It was a terrible day. Let’s scratch it off the calendar and never speak of it again.”

“I can agree with that,” Antonio agreed as they pulled apart.

Lovino’s eyes suddenly locked with Antonio’s. He couldn’t help but gaze curiously into Antonio’s mystically green orbs with his bronze ones. His heart sped up a bit. Only an hour ago, he was so furious with this man, but now he was back to being so in love with him that it almost hurt. What a funny thing emotions could be.

“What are you thinking about?” Antonio asked, never once breaking Lovino’s gaze.

“Nothing,” Lovino softly answered. “And what are you thinking of.”

“How curious of a shade your eyes are,” Antonio admitted. “It’s like they’re both bronze and golden at the same time. It’s fascinating.” He smiled and reached out to touch Lovino’s cheek. It was an involuntary movement of his arm, but Lovino didn’t seem to mind.

“It is?” Lovino asked, always having found his eyes a boring color, considering Roma and Feliciano had the same ones. “Tell me more about them.” He moved a little closer.

“Well, they have a mischievous glint to them,” Antonio continued, moving closer to get a better look. “Your eyes always give away how you feel.”

“And how am I feeling right now?” Lovino asked, voice low and gentle as he dared to move closer to the suave Spaniard. Every fiber of his being wanted to jump into the man’s lap and kiss him right then and there, but he wanted to hear what Antonio had to say first.

“You’re in love,” Antonio finally said after licking his lips.

“With who?” Lovino asked, lips just centimeters from Antonio’s. He wanted to hear him say it as his eyes fluttered shut.

“Me,” the Spaniard answered before closing the gap between their lips with his own.

.

Antonio wasn’t sure what time it was when he finally opened his eyes, but the sun wasn’t up yet. He found himself in Lovino’s bed with Lovino sleeping soundly next to him. They both were shirtless and their hair all messed up. 

He thought back to what had occurred to put them in that current situation. It was true that he had finally kissed Lovino, and things got heated pretty quickly. They had gone back to Lovino’s room for more privacy, and Lovino had locked the door after them.

Antonio thought for a moment. What else had happened? He felt drunk off of Lovino and smiled stupidly as he looked over at the sleeping Italian, who had his arms looped around Antonio’s waist. His mouth stretched into a smile. So Lovino had finally gotten what he had wanted all along, and Antonio discovered what he had been missing.

He sat up and heard Lovino groan softly next to him. “What is it, Lovi?” he softly asked.

“It’s not even morning yet, idiot,” he grumbled. “Lay back down with me.” He was too tired to pull Antonio back down, but the Spaniard quickly took the hint and laid back down next to him. “I have never shared a bed with anyone but my brother before,” he admitted. “This is something new.”

“It is?” Antonio asked. “And to think, I thought you invited men to come and sleep in your bed with you every night,” he teased. He kissed Lovino’s forehead. “I never would’ve thought you fancied me, Lovi.”

“And why wouldn’t I?” Lovino asked, not opening his eyes. “I’ve fancied you since the day you arrived. Couldn’t you tell?”

Antonio didn’t want to be honest. “I couldn’t at all,” he lied, glad that Lovino probably wouldn’t be able to tell if he was lying or not yet. “I mean, I may have sensed something once or twice, but nothing too big.”

“Is that why you almost kissed me when I sang that one time?” Lovino asked him, yawning.

“Yes,” Antonio honestly answered. “You have such an amazing voice, and you’re a very handsome man.”

“I never would have guessed that you fancied men, if I’m honest,” Lovino admitted. “But that doesn’t matter now, does it?”

“Not in the slightest,” Antonio assured with a smile. “What matters now is what’s happening now.”

“And what exactly is happening now?” Lovino asked, peeking one eye open.

“This,” Antonio answered, slipping an arm around Lovino’s waist and kissing him gently yet passionately.

“I’m lucky,” Lovino said once they were done kissing. 

“What do you mean?” Antonio asked.

“You’re from a country of passion, and I’m from a country of love and beauty,” Lovino answered. “If you put those both together, we know a lot about love and passion. I think things just might work between us.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re tired, Lovi,” Antonio answered.

“No, I’m serious,” Lovino answered. He snuggled into Antonio’s side and yawned cutely. “It’s real, I swear.”

“We’ll see if you remember it in the morning,” the Spaniard chuckled.

“Just kiss me before we fall back asleep,” Lovino grumbled at him.

Antonio happily did as told, and the moment their lips met once more, he felt as if he were flying. In the honest truth, he never wanted to come back down.

.

Lovino woke up the next morning to Antonio lightly snoring next to him. So it wasn’t a dream after all. It was all real. He and Antonio had really kissed the night before, and they had fallen asleep together in his bed. His mind then wandered to what his grandfather was going to say if he ever found out.

He bit his lip and got up from his bed to use the restroom. When he came back, Antonio was sitting up in his bed. “I didn’t wake you, did I?” he asked, even though he made sure to make it sound like he didn’t actually care whether he had woken Antonio or not. Deep inside, he really hoped he hadn’t.

“Not at all,” Antonio answered. “I fell back asleep for about an hour and have been lying awake for a couple hours now.”

“Were you uncomfortable?”

Antonio shook his head. “No way, Lovi. I was next to you. How could I be uncomfortable with you right there?”

Lovino felt his face turning red. “I don’t know. I was just thinking that….” His voice trailed off. “You know what? Never mind any of what I was saying.”

The Spaniard smiled. “I’m glad you finally came clean about how you feel, Lovi.”

Lovino stared at his feet for a moment before finally answering Antonio. “So am I,” he softly said.

“It takes a lot of courage.”

“It does,” Lovino agreed with a nod. He then wandered over to the bed and straddled Antonio’s hips. His hands cupped Antonio’s face in them. “And so does this.” Once more, he pressed his lips to Antonio’s, which immediately welcomed them back.

As their lips moved together, Lovino felt a sensation in his pelvic area. He knew it was arousal, but he didn’t know what to do about it. Though he knew it was normal, it embarrassed him until he felt that Antonio was experiencing it as well. He then ground his hips against Antonio’s, smiling into the kiss.

Antonio grunted in desire as his lips lapped against Lovino’s a little greedier than they were before. He groaned out in desire and sighed, knowing that he wasn’t going to get what he knew he needed for relief. Though he knew he wasn’t going to get that relief, he didn’t want to stop kissing Lovino just yet. There was still more that he wanted to do.

Lovino gasped out in surprise at Antonio’s grunts and groans. He returned Antonio’s kisses just as greedily, but his pants had become tighter and a bit more uncomfortable. There had to be something he could do about that. It was an awful feeling. He began to twist a little.

“Uncomfortable?” Antonio finally asked him, breaking their lips apart. He looked down at their groins to see that both of them were painfully hard and erected. “Lovi, that looks like it hurts.”

“Just a little,” he groaned. “I can go take care of it.” He moved to get up, but Antonio stopped him. “What is it?”

“Would you rather I did it?” Antonio asked.

Lovino’s eyes grew wide. “Rather you did what?” he asked, suddenly scared of this exciting, new experience that Antonio was offering to him.

“Would you rather I took care of that pain and discomfort in your crotch?” Antonio asked. He hesitantly reached forward and touched the bulge in Lovino’s pants.

The Italian shuddered as such a sensitive area was touched by Antonio. He inhaled sharply, but he didn’t exhale. After adjusting to the feeling, he slowly nodded. “Go ahead,” he softly encouraged.

Antonio didn’t have to be told twice as he undid the buttons on Lovino’s trousers. He sighed out as he stroked Lovino’s length through his underwear. “You’re so hard, Lovi.”

Lovino squeezed his eyes shut. “Your hand feels so good,” he moaned out. He had never been touched in this way before. He honestly liked it. His body felt as if it were filling with an overwhelming urge to become one with Antonio’s body, but that was all too soon. He bucked his hips up into Antonio’s hand and kissed down the Spaniard’s neck. “You’re amazing.”

“I’ve never been told that for a reason such as this, but thank you,” Antonio said as he continued what he was doing.

Moments later, Lovino was panting and leaning against Antonio. “You make me feel amazing,” he panted out. “We have to do this kind of stuff more.”

“That we will in due time,” Antonio told him. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to take a shower.”

“Yeah,” Lovino said, tucking his member back into his trousers and buttoning them back up. His face was bright red. “You won’t tell anyone, will you?”

“I believe that what happens in this room stays in this room until we decide together to tell people together,” Antonio answered.

“Together,” Lovino said, sounding out the word. No one had ever wanted to do something together with him before. It sounded like a new adventure, and he couldn’t wait to get started on it. “Yeah,” he said, smiling at Antonio. “We’ll decide together.” He leaned in and kissed him softly. “Now go take your shower.”

Antonio chuckled to himself. “I was getting to that.” He got up and ruffled Lovino’s hair. “See you after, Lovi.”

After Antonio left the room, Lovino smiled to himself like an idiot. “Together,” he softly repeated. He liked the sound of that, especially since it meant him and Antonio. Anything that involved Antonio sticking around sounded good to him. And just to think, less than 24 hours before, he had hated the man. It was crazy how emotions worked.


	9. Chapter 9

The whole time Antonio was in the shower, he let his mind wander to what he had just done. Was it really okay for him to touch and kiss Lovino in the ways that he had? What would Roma say? Would Roma be angry to find out about the now-requited love between his grandson and the man he had hired to keep an eye on him. Oh, Antonio was definitely keeping an eye on him, that was for sure.

But the more Antonio thought about it, the less he cared what Roma thought. Shouldn’t Roma be happy for him and Lovino? It wasn’t like Antonio was doing something dreadfully awful to Lovino. All he was doing was loving the Italian for what he truly was worth. Anyone would be happy about that.

At least that was how Antonio thought.

.

As the three men sat down for breakfast the next morning, there was a heavy awkwardness in the air. It was nearly tangible. That was when Antonio was certain that Roma knew there was something going on between him and Lovino, whether he acknowledged it or not. Antonio suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable at the table. 

“Are you feeling better today, Lovi?” Roma asked, flashing his grandson a carefree smile.

“Sure. Fine,” Lovino grumbled around his toast and jam.

Antonio blinked in surprise. Was he the only one feeling awkward about all of this? Was Roma actually okay with the blossoming relationship between the two of them? He bit into his toast, deciding to stay quiet on the matter.

“Are you all right, Antonio?” Roma asked him. “You have barely said a word this morning.” Though there was a smile one his face, Antonio saw the true hostility in the man’s eyes and was certain that Roma was not okay with the blossoming relationship.

“I’m just a bit tired is all,” Antonio said after swallowing. His mouth suddenly felt dry, as if he hadn’t had a drink in months. He felt put on the spot, but maybe that was Roma’s plan all along?

“I assume you would be after last night,” Roma said, looking back down at the food on his plate. “You and Lovino aren’t necessarily the quietest of people.”

Lovino began coughing as he choked on his milk. “Nonno, what are you talking about?!” he spluttered after a moment, bronze eyes wide. “Nothing happened last night!”

“Antonio spent the night in your bedroom, and you dare to tell me that nothing happened?” Roma demanded, giving the two of them a stern look. “What kind of a fool do you take me for?”

“Nothing happened!” Lovino insisted. “He fell asleep in there while talking to me!” He clenched his fists angrily. “I don’t see what the big deal is! You never got angry at Feli for having his friends sleep in his room!”

Roma blinked his eyes at the mention of his other grandson. “I guess you’re right,” he finally said after a moment. “I never did get onto Feli for any of that. But you’re not Feliciano, Lovi. In fact, you’re older than him. You should know better.”

“Know better?” Lovino nearly shouted. “Know better about what, Nonno? We didn’t do anything you wouldn’t approve of.” He shoved his plate away from himself and crossed his arms over his chest. “Honestly! This is fucking stupid!”

“Language,” Roma warned.

“I’m an adult!” Lovino suddenly shouted. “Why does anything I do concern you?!”

Roma blinked in surprise at his grandson’s sudden outburst. “I guess it doesn’t…” he softly said. “But you are still living under my roof, so you go by my rules.”

Lovino, having enough, stood up and put his plate in the sink before muttering, “This family is fucking stupid,” and storming upstairs.

Antonio was now the center of Roma’s attention and felt even more uncomfortable than before as the older man’s gaze bore into him. He shifted his weight in his chair and stared down at his plate. Even just the atmosphere was nearly enough to suffocate him where he sat. There was no way he would even be able to utter a word.

“Why would you do this?” Roma quietly asked Antonio. “I welcome you into my home, and you thank me by taking my grandson’s innocence.” He shook his head. “Explain your reasoning behind that.”

“Taking his innocence?” Antonio asked, daring to look up at Roma. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. We did just as Lovino told you. I fell asleep in there with him.”

“Bullshit!” Roma shouted, pounding his fist on the table with enough force to make Antonio nearly jump out of his skin. “What kind of a fool do you take me for?! I’m not blind to the things that go on in my home!”

“But you got the wrong idea,” Antonio said. “We didn’t do anything like that.” He was struggling to stay calm, knowing that he would crack if he wasn’t careful.

“And why should I believe you?” Roma asked. “What all did you do to my grandson, Carriedo?!” He angrily narrowed his eyes at the Spaniard, a feral growl emerging from his throat.

Antonio narrowed his eyes as well. “Fernandez Carriedo,” he corrected. “I have two last names!” He could feel his blood boiling at this man, yet he had to keep mentally reminding himself that he was a guest in this home. “And I only kissed him. That’s. It.”

Roma blinked in surprise. “You what?” he asked, stunned at hearing Antonio admit what he had done with Lovino.

“I kissed Lovino and I slept in the same bed as him,” Antonio snarled. “And if that is enough to fire me from me job, then so be it. But good luck finding someone else who will bond with and protect him in the way that I did.” He stood and put his now empty plate in the sink before walking toward the stairs. “I will go and pack my bags now.”

“No,” Roma softly said. “Don’t.” He looked up at Antonio as the Spaniard turned to him. “You’re right. No one else will do what you have done.” His fist clenched as he said. “Lovino is an adult.”

“He is,” Antonio confirmed.

“Nothing more than what you have already done together is allowed under this roof,” Roma told him. “Go somewhere else if you absolutely must further your relationship with my grandson. But understand one thing. If you hurt him, you’re dead.”

Antonio didn’t let his gaze or expression falter. “Understood.” With that, he ascended the staircase.

Roma sat at the table with his head in his hands. “Dio, what have I just agreed to?” he groaned to himself. He looked up at the picture of him, Feliciano, and Lovino on the wall before him. His expression softened after a moment. “I agreed to my grandson’s happiness. That’s what I agreed to.” Somehow, that helped him feel slightly better about the situation.

.

One Month Later

Lovino sighed as he got the mail. Every day was the same thing. All he wanted was a letter from his brother, just wanting to know Feliciano was still alive, but he figured he shouldn’t get his hopes up. That was a nasty fall. Not everyone would survive something like that.

Ever since Feliciano’s accident, he and Antonio had been on two other missions. They hadn’t encountered any soldiers on them, but just the thought of missions made Lovino nauseous. He couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that he could’ve helped his brother if only he were stronger.

Lovino flicked through the envelopes and blinked in surprise when he saw some familiar writing. “Holy shit….” he muttered to himself before running into the shop. “He’s alive!” he cried out, running to Roma with the letter. “Nonno, Feli’s alive! He wrote a letter!”

Roma ripped the letter from his grandson’s hands and hurried to the back, leaving Antonio to hold down the shop for a moment while he and Lovino read the letter. “Lovi!” he cried out. “Read it! I can’t do it!”

The younger Italian ripped the paper from his grandfather’s hands, his own hands shaking so bad he could barely read his brother’s messy scrawls on the paper. His eyes filled with tears. The letter read:

Dear Nonno and Fratello,

I hope you haven’t been too worried about me. I’m sure Lovi told you what happened, Nonno. You have every right to be ashamed of me if you are. What I have been trained to do is wrong. It was Lovi who opened my eyes to that. I’m sorry. I want to leave this military, but I can’t. So many people count on me now.

My Lieutenant is depending on me to help him. I hope that I will never let him down. Yet at the same time, I want to open his eyes to what I know. Life just got a lot more complicated. Now that I know these things, I can’t help but know that what I’m doing is wrong. But the thing is, I can’t stop.

Now, about my health. Both legs were broken in my fall. I am going to walk again, I swear it. Everything will go back to normal. And after this war is over, I am going to come back home to Italy, and I am going to stay there. Forever.

I love you and think of you often, 

Major Feliciano Vargas

Lovino sighed after reading the letter aloud. “Nonno, I’m worried about him,” he admitted. “This isn’t good. I hope he mailed this publicly and not through the military.” He ran a hand through his hair. “After reading this, I feel like I need a four-hour nap.”

Roma frowned. “Lovi, you’re not looking too well,” he observed. “You’ve gone pale.” He placed a hand on his grandson’s shoulder. “How about you rest a bit, and I’ll send Antonio up to check on you?”

All Lovino could do was nod. “That works,” he said before dropping the letter onto the table and heading up the stairs. He dropped onto the couch the moment he got up there.

Roma walked back into the store. “I sent Lovi upstairs,” he told Antonio. “I would like you to check on him when you have the time.”

Antonio nodded. “Got it, boss.” His mind wandered to how Lovino must have been feeling. “Is he going to be okay?”

“He will be with time,” the older man answered. He sighed. “Actually, could you go up now and check on him? I’m worried about him.”

The Spaniard nodded and went up the stairs. He frowned when he saw Lovino laying on the couch. His body automatically went and sat on the floor in front of the couch. He patiently waited for some sign from Lovino to speak to him, and he got it moments later when Lovino’s hand found its way into his hair.

“We got a letter from Feli,” Lovino softly said. “The stupid bastard broke both of his legs. Can you believe that?” He scoffed and twirled Antonio’s curls around his fingers. “I can’t fucking believe it. He’s lucky to be alive. But if I’m so happy to hear that he’s alive, why does it hurt so bad to know that he lived?”

“What do you mean?” Antonio asked. He reached up to grab Lovino’s other hand and stroke it with his thumb. “Why does it hurt you to know he’s alive?”

“I’m trying to figure that out,” Lovino sighed. He frowned. “Toni,” he softly said, only using that name when he felt weak, “what do I do?”

“Again, what do you mean? There are many options and many reasons you could be asking that.” Antonio kissed Lovino’s hand and turned to him. “What’s going on in your head?”

Lovino used both of his hands to grasp at his own hair. “I wish I knew. It’s so frustrating, Antonio! My mind is a battlefield! Can’t I just give up? I’m tired of conflicting feelings, Toni!” His eyes began to water as he felt pathetic for crying in front of his lover. It was awful. He felt so humiliated that he couldn’t control his own feelings. “Don’t look at me!”

“Getting emotional is nothing to be embarrassed about,” Antonio told him in a soft voice. “Your brother is doing what he can.”

“Please,” Lovino begged. “Please don’t talk to me about Feli. It hurts too badly to do that.”

“Then we won’t,” Antonio said. “But what else is going on in your head?”

“Make it go away,” Lovino said with a frown as a couple tears escaped his eyes. “Make it all go away and make everything okay again.” He moved down onto Antonio’s lap and clung to his shirt. “Please make everything okay.”

“Everything will be okay,” Antonio told him. He kissed the top of Lovino’s head and held him close. “I know that things will work out.”

“You’re just saying that because I told you to,” Lovino grumbled. “Stupid.”

“Do you want me to help or not?” Antonio asked. He pressed his forehead to Lovino’s closing his eyes, noticing that Lovino’s was warmer than usual. “Are you feeling okay?”

“No,” Lovino grumbled. “I feel sick, you idiota.”

“How about you rest?” Antonio suggested.

“Rest with me?” Lovino asked. “I don’t want to be alone.” He rested his head on Antonio’s shoulder, curling into him. “I don’t care how pathetic I may sound or look. I don’t feel well, and you’re going to take care of me.”

Antonio chuckled to himself. “I will,” he assured.

.

When Lovino woke up a couple hours later, he found himself on his bed with Antonio resting peacefully next to him. He wanted to smile, but he just couldn’t bring himself to. His mind was filled with thoughts of his little brother and how he must be feeling, trapped in a horrible situation that he can’t get out of.

Lovino began to mentally argue with himself, wondering which was really right anyway. He was starting to struggle. It was so tempting to give in to those dark thoughts about his brother. All he wanted was to be a kid once more with no responsibilities other than to play with Feliciano all day. But if that were to happen, it would mean no more Antonio. And that was something he wasn’t willing to trade.

He propped himself up on one of his arms and kissed Antonio’s cheek softly, hoping he wouldn’t wake him. Then again, he never got that lucky unless if Antonio pretended to be asleep for a little while longer. Either way, he knew that his kisses always seemed to wake Antonio up.

Antonio stirred a little and cracked one eye open, casting Lovino a sleepy smile. “How are you feeling, Lovi? Any better?”

“A little,” Lovino muttered, snuggling up to Antonio. “Just let me be sad for a little while longer, if that’s okay.”

“Of course it’s okay,” Antonio told him. “Your pain is relevant.”

“Thank you,” Lovino half-muttered, half-grumbled, burying his face in Antonio’s shoulder. “Ti amo…”

“Te amo,” Antonio happily responded. He smiled to himself, knowing it was rare when Lovino said things like that. His heart thrummed happily in his chest as he laid there with his lover. Everything would have been perfect if it hadn’t been for that letter. That letter was just awful, but he knew why Feliciano had to write it. He just wished that letter didn’t have to put everyone in such a horrible mood.

Lovino yawned and rested his head on Antonio’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. He didn’t want to do anything else that day. All he wanted was to just lie there with Antonio all day, but he knew that he couldn’t do something as lazy as that all day. His grandfather would flip. He just wanted to forget everything terrible that had happened.

“Today wasn’t a good day,” Antonio softly said.

“It wasn’t,” Lovino agreed.

“But it doesn’t mean that tomorrow can’t be a good day,” the Spaniard told him. “You just have to believe that it will be good and not let any negativity from today promote bad thoughts about tomorrow.”

“I’ll try not to,” Lovino sighed. He closed his eyes and focused on Antonio’s heartbeat for a moment. That was all he wanted to hear at the moment. Not even the Spaniard’s voice would calm him nearly as much as his heartbeat did.

“What a lame excuse,” Antonio grumbled.

“What’s an excuse?” Lovino asked.

“Trying.” The Spaniard scoffed. “Either you do it or you don’t. There’s no need to use the word try. Pretend that it doesn’t even exist.”

“Antonio, it’s not that simple.”

“But it is. You just don’t want to accept it.”

Lovino groaned and dropped the discussion right then and there, knowing he couldn’t win. He was too upset to fight with Antonio anyway. If only his love knew what kinds of thoughts littered his mind every morning. He would think twice before saying something like what he had just said. That was for sure.

Antonio was quiet for awhile, noticing Lovino’s silence. He couldn’t tell if it was a hurt silence or a contemplative silence. It wasn’t like it mattered too much at the moment, but it would matter more later on, and that was what he was worried about.

All his life, Antonio had lived in the moment, never having to worry about the future or any consequences, but ever since he met Lovino he was always careful about things like that. He found himself anticipating the future at all times, wondering what it had in store. He found himself being more careful in his choice of wording certain things. It was almost as if he were conditioning himself to loving Lovino, and he honestly wasn’t sure about how he felt about that.

One part of him was happy that he loved someone so much that he wanted to make them comfortable and happy, but he other part wanted to live the way he always had. It was so confusing for him, and he couldn’t stand it.

“Lovi,” Antonio softly said, getting his attention.

“What is it, Toni?” Lovino asked, voice nearly a hum.

“Do you love me?” Antonio asked.

“What kind of a question is that?” Lovino asked, sitting up. He frowned. “Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Even if I’m a flawed human?”

Lovino cupped Antonio’s face in his hands and looked him in the eyes, a serious expression in his eyes. “Toni, listen to me. We’re all flawed. Some of us are just better at accepting our flaws than others. Remember that.”

Antonio pulled Lovino down on top of him into a hug. “I will, but only because you said it to me.”

“Idiota,” Lovino grumbled.

All Antonio could do was smile and hold his flawed lover close to him. And if he could, he would never let go.


	10. Chapter 10

Two Weeks Later

“Vacation’s over, boys,” Roma announced one morning, throwing an envelope on the tabletop space between Antonio and Lovino. “Looks like we’ve got ourselves another job!” He grinned widely. “And this time, I have a new plan for it all.” His grin turned slightly manic. “Lovi, we’re going to dress you up like Feli.”

Lovino’s eyes flew open. “That will never work!” he nearly shouted. “Our hair is different!” He frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. “Plus Feli’s out of commission right now.”

“That’s why it will be a psychological attack,” Roma answered, manic smile still in place.

“I don’t like this idea,” Lovino grumbled crossly. He didn’t like anything that compared him to his brother, and now his nonno wanted him to dress like Feliciano. That was just too much!

“Me either,” Antonio cut in. “If anything goes wrong with that plan, Lovino’s life will be at stake. I’m not willing to risk that much for just one mission. If you’d ask me, I’d say we should do it how we usually do. It’s not worth risking Lovi’s safety over.”

Roma blinked his eyes is surprise. “No one would find out. Feli and Lovi are nearly identical.”

Lovino slammed his fist on the table and stood up. He had finally had enough. “Don’t you get it, Nonno?!” he shouted, unable to contain it any longer. “No matter how badly you want me to be, I’m not Feli! I’ll never be Feli! I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m Lovino! I will always be Lovino! I’m sorry that I’m nothing to be proud of like Feli or even fucking Heracles, for that matter, but dammit, I’m trying! I’m trying, Nonno! I’m sorry that you can’t see that! If I can’t be Lovino, I don’t want to do you fucking missions!” He stood there for a moment, breathing heavily, before storming off toward the stairs.

Roma and Antonio sat there in a stunned silence for a few moments before Roma turned to the Spaniard. “I should have seen that coming,” he sighed. “I’ll admit, I have been encouraging him to be like my other grandson and Feli for years.” He sighed once more. “Lovi finally blew up. And it’s about time he did.”

“The effects of being compared to people your whole life can be lasting,” Antonio warned. “Let’s hope Lovi isn’t permanently damaged. I barely escaped being so.”

“What do you mean?” Roma asked.

“I was always compared to my cousin Henrique,” Antonio stated. “He always seemed so perfect at everything. It didn’t seem fair. Eventually, I grew to resent him. I mean, he was my family and I loved him, but I also resented him with a passion. He was my rival, and no matter how hard I tried, Henrique would always outshine me.”

“Do you think Lovino feels that way about Feli and Heracles?” Roma asked.

“It’s not my place to say,” Antonio answered. “He’s right upstairs, though.”

.

Lovino sighed when he saw that it was Roma who had come to talk to him instead of Antonio. “Before you start in on me being disrespectful, just remember that I’m an adult and that you have only been fueling the fire all these years.”

“I have,” Roma agreed, sitting down next to his grandson on the couch.

The younger Italian blinked his eyes in surprise at the sudden agreement. “You what?” He quickly remembered his frustration. “I mean, yeah, you really have!” he quickly corrected, crossing his arms but keeping a close eyes on his grandfather. “Vaffanculo!”

Roma suddenly felt angry. “Now that’s going too far, Lovi!” he scolded. “I’m trying to apologize. Please let me.”

Lovino gestured to him with both hands. “Then go right ahead, Nonno.”

“I shouldn’t have suggested trying to disguise you as your brother, Lovi. That wasn’t fair to you. I understand why you’re angry with me. You have every right to be. I haven’t compared you to Feli and Hera to torment you, though.” Roma took a deep breath. “I did it to try to encourage you, Lovi.”

“Oh yeah?” Lovino angrily asked. “Encourage me to do what? All it did was made me feel inadequate.”

Roma looked down, hanging his head. “I know,” he softly said, “and I’m sorry.”

Lovino blinked at Roma in surprise. “You’re sorry?”

“I really, truly am, Lovi,” he answered. “I shouldn’t have done that.” Roma was quiet for a moment. “You don’t...You don’t...hate Feli, do you, Lovino? Or resent him?”

“No,” Lovino flatly answered. “He’s my baby brother. I love him, and I always will. Why do you ask?”

“It’s nothing,” Roma answered.

“Toni said something, didn’t he?” Lovino asked, picking at imaginary dust on his shirt so he wouldn’t have to look at Roma. “You don’t have to answer that. I can already tell that he did.”

“Why does it matter if he did or not?” Roma asked his grandson. “I came to talk to you by my own decision, Lovi.” He sighed. “Antonio may have said some things to me about himself, but I still would have come and spoken to you even if he hadn’t.”

“You probably just would’ve been more harsh,” Lovino grumbled.

Roma sighed. “If you want me to be your enemy for now, then fine,” he said. “Just come talk to me when you’re ready.” He slowly stood up, hoping his grandson would grab his arm and drag him back down like he did as a child, but he didn’t. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me.”

Lovino watched Roma go, trying to let go of all of the hurt that had built up inside of him. He didn’t care if he had hurt his grandfather’s feelings. Roma had been hurting his feelings all his life. At last, Lovino thought, the tables have turned.

.

Antonio made his way upstairs to the living room to see Lovino dangling upside down on the couch. He would’ve laughed if it hadn’t been for the look on his lover’s face. “Lovi?” he asked. “What’s going on?”

“What do you think?” Lovino groaned, looking up at Antonio. He sighed. “Come here, Toni.” His arms reached out toward the Spaniard.

He walked over to Lovino and smiled. “How can I help you, Lovi?” he cheerfully asked. Antonio sat on the floor and cupped Lovino’s face in his hands. “A kiss, maybe?” His lips pressed to Lovino’s. “How was that?”

Lovino smirked and tugged Antonio’s curls, gently guiding him back to his face. “Kiss me again. That was nice, idiota.”

Antonio kissed Lovino with a fiery passion. His hand slid down Lovino’s neck and into his shirt, rubbing at his collarbone. He smiled at Lovino’s soft moans. “I love you, Lovi,” he softly said.

The Italian flipped off of the couch like he and his brother would do as children. “To my bedroom, Antonio Fernandez Carriedo,” he said, pulling the Spaniard to his feet. “Come on, let’s go, Toni.” He eagerly led the way to his room, shutting the door after them. “I have a question.”

“What’s that?” Antonio asked with a smirk. He wanted Lovino so badly, having abstained from sex with the young Italian so far. As he looked into Lovino’s bronze eyes, he wondered how much longer he could keep abstaining. Every fiber of his being was aching for Lovino.

“Make love to me, idiota,” Lovino forcefully commanded before crashing his lips into Antonio’s once more. “Love me, Toni,” he pleaded. “Love me as Lovino. I need you to prove that you love Lovino, and only Lovino, Toni.” Tears pricked the corners of his eyes. “Make love to me to prove that you love me.”

“No,” Antonio stated. “I want our first time to be special, not something like this.” He softly kissed Lovino and then kissed his love’s closed eyelids. “I love you, Lovino Vargas, but I will not make love to you right now.”

Lovino balled his hands into fists. The romantic, lustful mood was gone. “Antonio…” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Why won’t you fuck me?” he angrily demanded. “This isn’t fair!” He tugged at his hair in irritation. “Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, you are, without a doubt, the most frustrating person on this earth!”

“You must understand,” Antonio calmly began, “I’m doing this because I love you, Lovino. I don’t want to take advantage of you in this state.”

“But you wouldn’t be taking advantage of me!” Lovino argued.

“That’s what you think now, but you might think otherwise later,” the Spaniard answered. “Trust me, Lovi, it’s better this way.”

“You don’t love me, do you?” Lovino slowly asked, not even attempting to hide the obvious hurt in his voice.

“Lovino, please don’t say things like that,” Antonio pleaded. “You know that’s not true. You know that I love you, Lovino.”

“No ‘Lovi’?” Lovino asked, hurt. “You only use my full first name when it’s serious.”

“Because this is serious!” Antonio emphasized. “You’re questioning my love for you!”

“It’s because you won’t have sex with me!”

“Because now is not the right time! I’m not taking advantage of you when you’re vulnerable like this!”

“I’m not vulnerable!” Lovino shouted at him.

“This conversation is over,” Antonio stated. He opened the door to the hallway. “I love you, Lovino, but I can’t argue in circles with you right now.” He stepped out of the room and shut the door, leaving the devastated Lovino in there by himself, only to run into Roma. “Please say you didn’t hear that,” he whispered to the older Italian.

“Thank you,” Roma whispered back to Antonio. “Not many people would have been mature enough to do what you just did. Thank you for not taking advantage of my Lovi.” He then turned and walked back down the stairs to the store.

Antonio stood outside of Lovino’s door for a few more moments before retreating to the room he was staying in. He knew this fight with Lovino would all blow over, but he couldn’t help but feel terrible about it. His heart ached for the young Italian, wishing that Lovino didn’t have to have such a hard life, like he did.

Though no matter how much Antonio wished, the past couldn’t be changed.

.

Lovino didn’t join Roma and Antonio for dinner that night. He was too angry with them for that. How dare they be so cruel to him in those ways! He had never felt more betrayed in his life than he did that whole day. His heart couldn’t take it! Everything inside of him hurt.

As he sat there, his mind focused more and more on how betrayed he felt. It wasn’t Feliciano that he resented at all. His baby brother couldn’t help that their grandfather doted on him so much. No, it was Roma that he truly resented. How dare Roma try to encourage him to be somebody he’s not! Every ounce of Lovino burned with rage toward Roma.

Then there was Antonio and his talk of “taking advantage” of him. What the fuck did that even mean? How could you take advantage of someone who was so ready and willing to give themselves up like he was? He loved Antonio. Wasn’t that enough? And yet Antonio pretty much spat on his love and treated it like garbage, throwing it back in Lovino’s face like it was nothing.

Lovino burned with rage. Why did Antonio do that? Why couldn’t Antonio just love him? Why were things always so complicated? It wasn’t fair!

Was unconditional love from just one person too much to ask for?

Then Lovino thought about it. There was one person who did truly love Lovino unconditionally. Feliciano. His little brother had looked up to him their whole lives and had always been so oblivious to Roma’s doting.

When they were children, Feliciano was once asked who his favorite person in the world was. He didn’t even take any time to think before looking over at Lovino and pointing at him, answering, “My big brother, Lovi!” 

Lovino had been so proud at that moment, and he felt a swell of pride in his chest as he thought more about it. His little brother loved him with all of his heart, no questions asked, and Lovino finally realized how lucky he was to have such a loyal younger brother.

Feliciano had never wanted Lovino to be anything but himself. Why couldn’t more people in his life be like his baby brother? Why couldn’t more people in general be like Feliciano? And that was when Lovino started to see why people liked his brother so much. What wasn’t to like about him? But then Lovino also realized something. He was Feliciano’s favorite person. That made him special to Feliciano. It made his chest swell up in a way that it hadn’t since he realized he was in love with Antonio. It was an amazing feeling.

He wanted to tell someone, but he realized that the only people he would be able to tell were Roma and Antonio. Oh, how he wished he could write a letter to his brother, but he knew he couldn’t. It would have to go through the military, and he didn’t want some nosy German snooping through the things he wanted to say to his brother.

Lovino’s heart was torn. He wished he had made more friends, just so he could have someone to talk to about his brother. But after giving it more thought, he decided to talk to Antonio about it later that night once his anger had completely subsided.

.

Antonio was sitting on his bed, reading, when he heard a knock at his door. He was certain that he was hearing things. Why would Lovino be knocking at his door if he was mad at him? The knocking continued, though, so he got up and walked over to the door, opening it.

His green eyes widened when he saw Lovino. “Lovi?” he asked. “What are you doing here? I thought you were mad at me.”

Lovino glared up at him. “Don’t remind me,” he growled. “But I want to talk to you because you’re the one I’m less mad at.” He poked his index fingers together, hoping Antonio wasn’t just as angry with him. “Can I come in?”

Antonio stepped back and nodded into the room. “Come on in,” he said with a warm smile. “You know you’re always more than welcome to talk to me.”

The Italian timidly walked into the room and sat down on what used to be his brother’s bed. He fondly smiled, looking around at the baby blue walls, remembering how excited Feliciano was to paint them that color.

“What would you like to talk about?” Antonio asked, pulling the chair from the desk over and sitting on it backwards, facing Lovino. “It’s obviously something important to you if you want to talk about it at a time like this.”

“It is,” Lovino absently stated with a nod. “It’s about my brother.”

“Is he okay?” Antonio asked. “Did you get another letter or something?”

Lovino shook his head. “It’s nothing like that. It’s just something I remembered today.” He folded his hands in his lap and looked down at them, smiling. “Did you know that I’m his favorite person in the whole world?”

Antonio smiled to himself, knowing that Lovino couldn’t see. “You are?” he asked, pretending to be surprised.

“Yeah,” the Italian answered. “I am. I don’t know why, but I am. It makes me feel really happy that I am. My brother is an amazing person. Everyone loves him so much. He’s a lot of people’s favorite person, but he chose me to be his favorite.” He was quiet for a moment before looking up at Antonio. “Feliciano chose me, even though I’m foul and cranky most of the time. Do you think he made a mistake, Antonio?”

The Spaniard shook his head. “I don’t think he made a mistake at all, Lovi,” he answered. “He loves you so much. You’re his big brother. I know that I’m an only child, but I know that if I had an older brother like you, I would look up to him as well.”

“You would?” Lovino asked, blinking in surprise. “Why?”

“Because what’s not to look up to?” Antonio asked him, shrugging as he smiled. “You have never once been anything that you’re not. Lovino, you have never been anyone but yourself. Isn’t that something admirable in itself? That’s something to be so proud of.”

“And you really think that?” Lovino asked.

“¡Si!” Antonio cheerfully answered, smiling so wide that his eyes squeezed shut. “Why would you ever think anything otherwise? Lovino, you are so much more than you think. I hope that one day you will see that. I wish that you could see the you that I see.”

“And what do you see?” Lovino questioned, leaning toward him.

“I see someone who isn’t afraid to stand out and be different from the crowd,” Antonio began. “In a way that you would put it, you’re Lovino ‘fucking’ Vargas. If no one likes that, they can hit the road.” He grinned widely. “That’s one of the reasons why I fell in love with you, you know.”

“Do you still love me?” Lovino cautiously asked him. “Even after what happened today?”

 

“Just because we had one little argument doesn’t mean I will give up on a love like ours,” Antonio told him. “Lovino Vargas, I love you too much to let you go over something like that. Just because I didn’t have sex with you today doesn’t mean I never will. I want you to understand why I didn’t do it today.”

Lovino was quiet for a moment. “So you do love me?” he finally asked.

“With all of my heart,” Antonio assured. He stood up and smiled before sitting on the bed next to Lovino. “I love you so much, Lovi. More than I’ve ever loved another person. I want you to know that.”

“Then why do you think you’re taking advantage of me when I already told you I wanted you to?” Lovino asked him. “It was okay with me.”

“Because later down the road, you probably would have felt different,” Antonio said. “I want us to have sex for the first time when we’re both happy with life and happy with each other. That is when it would be perfect.”

“You really think so?” Lovino asked.

Antonio smiled at him and kissed his cheek. “Oh, Lovi,” he chuckled. “I really do.”

“If you’re absolutely sure, then I’ll wait for that time,” Lovino decided. He snuggled against Antonio. “But if you’re wrong about it, you will pay.”

The Spaniard laughed. “I get the picture, Lovi.” He wrapped his arms around his love and held him close, kissing the top of his head. “I’m glad you came to talk to me. You make me so happy.”

“I do?” Lovino asked. “Even though I frustrated you earlier?”

“Love is about forgiveness,” Antonio said. “I love you enough to forgive the times you upset me like that. I look past it and forget all about it because I know that you really do love me too.”

“Yeah,” Lovino happily sighed out. “I do.”


	11. Chapter 11

“So when is the new job?” Antonio asked Roma the next morning as he buttered a slice of toast at the breakfast table. “I’m curious to know how long we have to prepare for it.” He took a bite of it and swallowed. “I mean, I’m pretty good at coming up with plans and all, but I still need prep time for all of that, you know.”

Roma smirked at Antonio. “You have two days, Toni,” he answered. “Do you think you can do it?”

“Of course he can,” Lovino answered for his boyfriend. “Do you doubt him?” Though it wasn’t normal for him to jump to Antonio’s defense on things, he was trying to make up for the day before when he had upset his love. “Antonio can come up with a plan. He has plenty of time.”

The older Italian chuckled. “Why don’t you let the man speak for himself?” His bronze gaze that matched his grandson’s rested on Antonio. “Do you think that’s enough time?”

Antonio grinned at him. “It’s a perfect amount of time. Is there a map of the area? I just need to do a bit of map scouting.” His green eyes almost seemed to be smiling as well as he looked up at Roma. “Got a map, Roma?”

Roma chuckled and tossed a heavy, folded piece of paper across the table to Antonio. “Right there,” he answered. “You’re one of the best. That’s why I hired you. Don’t let me down.”

The Spaniard winked at him. “Oh, I don’t plan on it.” His gaze then looked over at Lovino as he buttered some toast as well. He quickly admired the younger man and looked back over to Roma. “This will go smoothly, I guarantee it. There will be no mistakes like last time.”

Lovino froze in what he was doing. Mistakes. Feliciano. He suddenly felt cold, remembering the fact that his baby brother had broken both of his legs during their first mission.In his head, he recited a silent prayer for his brother before continuing to butter his toast. Poor little Feli.

“And to think, you couldn’t wait to grow up,” Lovino sighed under his breath before taking a bite.

.

Lovino was lounging on the couch later when Antonio found him. He had been reading a book before, but the book had been long forgotten and tossed to the floor. Instead, he was staring up at the ceiling, deep in thought.

“Lovi?” Antonio asked, hoping that he wouldn’t startle his Italian love.

The Italian looked over at him. “What is it?” he asked, blinking in surprise. He hadn’t heard Antonio enter the room. Was he really that deep in thought? What had he even been thinking about anyway?

“I was going to go over the plan with you, but you seem as if you’ve got something on your mind,” he finally answered. “Would you like to talk about it?”

Lovino sat up on the couch, making room for Antonio. He patted the spot next to him for him to sit. “You see,” he began after his love sat, “I can’t help but think that something bad is going to happen to Feliciano now.”

“Why do you think that?” Antonio asked.

“I don’t know,” Lovino said, leaning against him. “Just call it a hunch, or a feeling. I feel as if some German officer is going to hurt him really badly. If they lay a fucking hand on my little brother, I swear I will kill them all!” Lovino was breathing heavily by that point.

“You know, there’s a fine line between lecturing and hurting someone,” the Spaniard told him. “I’m sure he got lectured, though. The Germans aren’t stupid. I know they heard us, and they probably knew that he was with us.”

“Toni, don’t you get it?” Lovino asked. “They’re going to think that he committed treason!” He buried his head in his hands. “I wish he had never gone there that day!” 

“Lovi, Feliciano is a Major,” he stated. “There is a fine line between a Major and a Private. Trust me on that. Feliciano won’t be in much trouble at all, I guarantee it.”

“Stop telling me about fine lines!” Lovino suddenly shouted at Antonio. “Everything is just fine lines with you, but the world isn’t that simple, Toni! It’s just fucking not! No one cares about fine lines! No one!”

“Lovino, I think you’re just frustrated,” Antonio softly told him. “You need to calm down.” He put an arm around his love and pulled him closer. “Now, how can you calm down enough to be able to talk in an according manner where you’re not constantly yelling at me?”

“Antonio, I’m not a miracle worker,” Lovino sighed. “How am I supposed to know that?” He leaned into Antonio’s embrace with a loud, exaggerated groan. “But if you insist on calming me down, then sing to me or something.”

“Why don’t you sing with me?” Antonio asked him.

“Because I can’t sing,” Lovino grumbled. “That’s Feli’s thing he likes to do, not mine.”

Antonio sighed. “Fine then.” He cleared his throat and then began to sing, his voice coming out like a gentle breeze on a hot summer day.

Lovino sighed out as Antonio stopped singing after the first stanza. He knew that the Spaniard wanted him to sing along, so he finally gave in.

Antonio sighed. “You have a beautiful voice,” he said, leaving the song at that. “Believe me, Lovino. I don’t want to set the world on fire, but I really do want to start a flame in your heart.”

“It’s already a roaring fire,” Lovino told him, kissing his lips softly.

.

Roma sat with Antonio at the table as they looked over the map together. “The level of difficulty here is stronger than the others,” he finally said. “Lovino is going to have to do a lot of the work here. He’s smaller than you and can fit in more spaces than you can to get past certain obstacles.”

Antonio sighed. “That’s what I was afraid you were going to say. I just don’t like putting him in danger like that.”

“Look, I know you care deeply for my grandson, but you have to remember that he is as much of a man as you are. He’s not weak and defenseless, Antonio,” Roma reminded. “Lovino is much stronger than a lot of people think, and it’s time he’s given a chance to prove that.” His chair let out a creaking groan as he leaned back in it. “I think Lovino would be happy to be given a chance to prove himself, Toni.”

“It’s not about that,” Antonio sighed, grabbing at his curls in frustration. “Feliciano already got hurt because I couldn’t help him. What if Lovino gets hurt, too?” He sighed and tugged at his hair. “What then, Roma?”

“Then he gets hurt,” Roma simply stated. “You can’t always save everyone, Antonio, no matter how badly you want to. That’s just a fact of life. You need to let people walk on their own at times as well. Not everyone can be protected.”

Antonio nodded miserably. “I just wish there was a way to save everyone.”

“But that’s not the world we live in.” Roma looked up at Antonio. “Not everyone can be saved, Antonio. You need to accept that But as long as you are there to back Lovino up on this mission, he can still be saved.”

“You think so?” the Spaniard asked.

“What happened on your first mission was a once-in-a-lifetime thing, Antonio. It will probably never happen to you two again,” Roma said. “It was an act of unfortunate timing.” He frowned. “It was highly unfortunate. I hope something like that never happens again, Antonio. To anyone.”

Antonio solemnly nodded. “I understand. And I will do my best to keep Lovino safe on this next mission.” He gulped. “Even if it means putting myself in harm’s way to do so.”

Roma stiffly nodded. “Thank you, Antonio. I knew I could count on you.”

.

Lovino tossed and turned in bed that night. It seemed so empty and spacious without Antonio lying next to him. He was used to afternoon naps with Antonio and falling asleep beside him. That night was his first night sleeping without Antonio in the past month.

“Go on to bed without me, Lovi,” Antonio had told him with a broad smile. “It’s going to be a late night of planning and I don’t want to keep you up.” He had then kissed Lovino’s forehead and then headed down the staircase to the dining room table to speak with Roma.

The young Italian sighed as he pulled his sheets over his head. This was hell. How was he supposed to sleep at all without Antonio? It was torture! He rolled over onto his stomach and frowned, burying his face into his pillow. It was so hot! Why did he feel as if he were suffering? Usually it was much hotter with Antonio in the bed with him, but why did it feel as if Lovino had entered hell itself all alone?

That was it. Lovino had to find Antonio and get him to come lay with him, at least until he fell asleep. He got out of bed and went down the stairs in his boxers and shirt. The muffled voices of Roma and Antonio made him pause.

“He’s not weak and defenseless, Antonio,” Roma said. “Lovino is much stronger than a lot of people think, and it’s time he’s given a chance to prove that.”

Lovino felt a smile play on his lips. He was glad that his grandfather knew that much. His legs bent beneath him as he sat on the staircase and listened to them discuss the plan further. He didn’t know how much time had passed until he heard the scrape of the chairs against the hardwood floor.

Quickly jumping up, Lovino hurried up the stairs without making a sound and went to his room, hoping that Antonio would come to check on him. Sure enough, his bedroom door opened moments later as he pretended to be asleep in the soft glow coming from the hallway.

“Lovi?” Antonio softly asked. “Are you still awake?”

The Italian blinked an eye open. “Si,” he softly answered. “What is it, Toni?”

Antonio entered the room and closed the door after him. He sat on the edge of the bed next to Lovino and held his love’s hand. “I have some things I would like to discuss with you about the mission,” he softly said. “You’re going to be the most important key to it.”

Lovino faked a yawn and sat up. “I will be?”

“You will be,” Antonio said. “But let’s talk about that tomorrow. I should probably let you get back to sleep, shouldn’t I?”

“No,” Lovino softly stated, moving into Antonio’s lap. He circled his arms around Antonio’s waist and leaned against him, resting his head just above Antonio’s heart. His love’s heartbeat calmed and soothed him. “I don’t want to sleep right now.” He then lifted his head and looked up at Antonio. “Basiami,” he instructed.

Antonio did as told and pressed his lips to Lovino’s. “Te quiero,” he softly said against Lovino’s lips. He held Lovino closer as they kissed, never wanting to let go. He didn’t want to go on that mission anymore, knowing that Lovino would be in danger. If he could just keep Lovino close like this at all times, things would be perfect.

Lovino pulled away after a few more moments. “Toni, what’s wrong?” he asked, looking at the Spaniard. “Something is bothering you, and I want to know what it is.”

“It’s nothing,” Antonio softly told him. “Eres guapo Bésame más.”

The Italian decided to leave it at that for the moment and do what Antonio had asked of him. Besides, it wasn’t like he minded kissing him at all anyway.

.

The next day, Lovino approached Antonio in the early afternoon as he was looking at a map. “Some of those spaces look pretty small,” he commented, pointing at one. “How are we going to fit?”

“We’re not,” Antonio told him. “You are.”

Lovino’s eyes widened. So that was what he meant by him being an important part. “But I’m only patrolling, right?” he asked. “I only patrol the area and come right back to you, right?” He needed the reassurance before he cracked. The room felt as if it were spinning. How could he stay calm when he was going to be without Antonio for some of the mission? 

“It’s only patrolling for that part, yes,” Antonio confirmed. “And it should be like our last two missions. No one should be there. But if anyone is there, don’t do it, okay? Come straight back to me, do you understand?”

“I understand,” Lovino answered, nodding. “I completely understand.”

Antonio nodded to him. “Things should go smoothly from there then.”

Lovino felt sick to his stomach. What if someone did show up, but Antonio was nowhere around? What if Antonio got ambushed while Lovino was patrolling one of those tight spaces? Those questions swam through his head as he sat there, frowning. 

“What’s wrong, Lovi?” Antonio asked him.

“Nothing,” Lovino answered with a small shake of his head. “I’m fine. I think I’m just going to go and lie down for a bit.” He left the room, nearly running into the doorway on his way out.

Antonio watched him leave, worried. “Oh, Lovi…” he sighed. This was exactly why he didn’t want to follow through with Roma’s plan.

.

The next day, the patrolling was going well. Antonio and Lovino had nothing to worry about. No one was there. As their final patrol came around, Lovino sighed.

“What is it?” Antonio asked him, concerned.

“Don’t you think this was too easy?” Lovino asked him. “I mean, think about it. The last two missions were just like this one. Aren’t you thinking we’re being too relaxed?”

Antonio thought about it for a moment. “I’m always on my guard,” he answered. “Aren’t you?”

“Well, yeah,” Lovino huffed at him. “But something just seems eerie about it today. I can’t quite name it. Something just seems off.”

“Off?” Antonio asked. “I don’t quite understand what you mean.”

“Wait here,” Lovino sighed. “I’ll be right back, and then I’ll tell you on the ride home.” He rolled his eyes and walked over to one of the tight spaces, squeezing himself into it.

Halfway through his patrol of that small area, that eerie feeling caught back up with him and made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He felt chills go down his spine as he hurried up and rushed back to Antonio. But Antonio wasn’t there.

“Goddammit,” Lovino muttered. “I told that bastard to wait right here!” He looked around. “Antonio?” he softly called. Nothing. That didn’t help the eerie feeling at all. Where was Antonio?

He rounded a corner and Antonio jumped out at him. “Fucking shit! Goddammit, you fucking bastard!” Lovino shouted at him. “That wasn’t funny! I thought something happened to you!”

“Nothing happened at all,” Antonio told him. “There’s no one here but us.” He grinned widely. “Sorry, I know I shouldn’t do that, but I just couldn’t help myself.”

“You’re going to think you can’t help yourself,” Lovino grumbled. “I will end you one of these days.”

There was a sudden clang that resounded around them. Lovino glared over at Antonio, who shrugged as if to say that it wasn’t him. That was when Lovino began to panic once more. His breathing became soft pants as his eyes grew wide.

“Keep walking, Lovi,” Antonio instructed. “We’re almost to the exit. We need to get out of here now. We’re not alone anymore.”

“You’re just saying that to scare me,” Lovino softly answered, trying to assure himself that that’s what was really going on.

“I’m serious, Lovi,” Antonio said. “Walk fast. We need to get out of here now,” he repeated. “I don’t know who is here, but they may not be our allies.” He held his breath as they heard footsteps. “Lovi, this isn’t good.”

Lovino took a step closer to Antonio. “I’m scared,” he whispered.

Antonio didn’t want to admit to Lovino that he was scared as well, but he was terrified. What could he do? There was nothing he could do but think of ways to protect Lovino. “You can drive, right?” he asked.

“Yes, but what does that have to do with this?” Lovino asked. His eyes widened as Antonio pressed the keys into his hand. “Antonio, please no. Don’t do this.”

“It may be the only way,” Antonio told him. “I’ll find my way back to you, I promise.”

“Please don’t talk like that,” Lovino pleaded. “We’ll make it out of here together. We have to.”

Antonio softly pressed his lips to Lovino’s. “I love you, Lovino. When I tell you to, make a break for the car. And don’t look back.”

Lovino was at a loss for words, but he knew he had no other choice but to listen to Antonio if he wanted to make it out alive. “Okay,” he finally whispered, heartbroken.

“Who goes there?” a German soldier called out as he laid eyes on Antonio.

Antonio pushed Lovino out of sight of the soldier and called out, “Antonio Fernandez Carriedo!”

“What is your business here?” the soldier called to him, pulling out a gun. Luckily, the soldier was alone, so Antonio knew that Lovino would be safe.

“To keep your filthy hands off the crates,” Antonio snarled at him. “This artwork isn’t going anywhere!” He stood his ground.

“Do you have a death wish?” the soldier asked him, laughing bitterly. “You’re coming with me.” He grabbed Antonio and began to drag the Spaniard from the room, Antonio not even struggling.

Instead, Antonio called out, “Run, Lovi! Run!”

Lovino then took off toward the door as fast as he could. He heard a shot go off and felt a shooting pain go through his right arm, but the adrenaline in his body kept him from going down. He just kept running and running, never looking back, even as he heard Antonio’s shouts of pain as the soldier laid into him.

When he got to the car, he sped off toward home before anyone could catch him. He burst through the shop door like an avalanche, getting blood all over everything.

“Lovino?” Roma asked, eyes wide at the bleeding wound on his grandson’s arm. “What happened?”

Only then did Lovino finally fall to his knees and break down. “They got him!” he wailed. “The Germans got Toni!”


	12. Chapter 12

Mid-August, 1942, Berlin, Germany

Antonio’s entire body ached as he was dragged into a military base. He could hear every soldier around him shouting in German, some shouting in English as well to the Italian troops. He wondered how long they would torture him. His body felt numb and weak as they pulled him along through the base.

“Major Vargas!” he heard a soldier cry out. His head suddenly snapped up. He looked to see Feliciano staring at him in bewilderment. The look in his eyes seemed harsh and uncaring, a look unlike anything that Roma or Lovino had probably ever known in him.

Feliciano stood there for a moment before spitting at Antonio and walking away, leaving the Spaniard confused and horrified. What was going on? Was Feliciano angry because of what had happened to his legs? He seemed to be walking now, but only with a little limp.

As he watched Feliciano go, he frowned. There was a moment’s pause before he was once again dragged down the hall toward the prison cells. But he didn’t care anymore. All he wanted to know was what was wrong with Feliciano.

.

Mid-August, 1942, Small Italian Village

Lovino couldn’t bring himself to eat for the first three that Antonio was gone. He didn’t want to admit it, but he really missed his boyfriend terribly. Every day, the pain of not having Antonio around got even worse. His heart ached for his love, but he didn’t want to admit that to anyone, especially Roma. He felt his grandfather would only tease him for it.

Instead, Lovino suffered in an agonizing silence. Surely there had to be something that could be done. If only there was a way to bust Antonio out of there. But how? He frowned. How could he be so useless at a time like this? It wasn’t fair to anyone! Why wasn’t there something he could do for anyone?

He buried his face in his pillow on his bed as he thought. Could he go to Berlin and bust Antonio out? He looked enough like Feli to be able to do it. His mind then went to what his grandfather had previously said. “They look nearly identical!” As much as Lovino hated to admit it, he and Feliciano really did look nearly identical. Maybe there was hope for saving Antonio after all.

.

Lovino scampered down the staircase toward the kitchen, where Roma was preparing dinner. “Nonno, I have an idea!” he quickly said. “But it will need some of your brilliance as well!”

Roma stood at the table, silently reading over a letter. He didn’t even look up when Lovino entered the room. “Lovi, I need you to sit.” His gaze still didn’t move from the letter. “We have some things that we need to discuss.”

“Like what?” Lovino asked, sitting down. He hadn’t seen Roma look this serious since he had burst through the door one week previous, saying that Antonio had been captured. His gaze went to the letter in Roma’s hand. “What is that anyway? Who’s it from?”

“It’s from the resistance in Berlin,” the older Italian answered without skipping a beat. “They have Antonio.”

There was a sudden rush of emotion that filled Lovino. The resistance in Berlin had Antonio? But how? How did he escape? What did this mean? Did Antonio bust out, or did someone bust him out from the inside?

His mind suddenly connected all of the dots. Feli! It had to be Feliciano who busted him out! It had to be! There was no other explanation for it! But why would Feliciano bust him out? Feli was on the opposing side. But if it wasn’t Feli, then who would’ve done it?

“Lovi, are you listening to me?” Roma asked, regaining his grandson’s attention.

Lovino looked up at him. “Huh? What?” He blinked up at Roma. “Sorry, I was trying to figure it all out in my head. Who busted him out?”

“He won’t tell them,” Roma sighed. “That’s what they’re so frustrated about.” He smiled down at his grandson. “But I think you and I both know who must’ve done it.”

The younger Italian smiled up at his grandfather. “I’m pretty sure I have an idea,” he said, playing along. “But the question is, why? Feli is pretty high up there in rank. That would be treason on his part, Nonno. He could get killed for that.”

“You and I both know that Feli would sacrifice anything to do what is right,” Roma answered, “even if it’s his own life that he’s sacrificing.” He felt sick. What was the price Feliciano would have to pay if anyone were to find out? “Let’s just hope and pray that the military never finds out that it was your brother.”

Lovino nodded his agreement. “That would be awful. I’ll keep my mouth shut about it.” He was quiet for a moment before asking, “Is Toni going to return to us anytime soon?”

“I was afraid you were going to ask that,” the grandfather sighed. “Lovi, you must understand something. He’s in pretty bad shape. The SS got him…” He frowned as he saw his grandson turn three shades paler. “It says in the letter that he’s missing two fingers and that his arm is broken. At this point in time, he is sick and delusional. He has constant nightmares that he’s drowning and wakes up screaming every time. Those men tortured him, Lovi.” Roma frowned. “When he comes back to us, he won’t be the same Antonio that we knew before. Are you prepared for that?”

The young Italian felt his heart sink in his chest. “Not the same Antonio?” he softly asked. He was suddenly filled with rage. “I’ll kill them,” he grumbled. “I’ll kill them all for what they did to him!” His voice had risen to a shout as he stood up. He was breathing heavily as he clutched the edges of the table, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “They made a mistake by laying even a finger on our Toni like that!” Lovino’s tears of hatred and hurt began to flow as he sat back down into his chair. “Nonno, why is the world so cruel?”

“I wish I knew, Lovi,” Roma answered, at a loss. “I really wish I knew…”

.

That Same Night, Berlin, Germany

Antonio laid on a cot as a young woman walked into the room with a rag. He looked up at her, his green gaze slowly looking away with disinterest when he realized she was yet another stranger who had come to tend to his wounds. He didn’t want to see anyone but his precious Lovino at the time.

“Mr. Fernandez Carriedo, do you mind if I dress your wounds?” she softly asked her accent thick and German with a soft hint of Italian in it. “They will get infected if they stay in the same bandages.”

“Do what you must,” Antonio sighed. He frowned and stared up at the ceiling as she gently began to undo the bandages around his hands and arms. Antonio hissed in pain, sucking in his breath as she accidentally touched the tender skin around the stump where his right index finger once was.

“I’m so sorry!” she quietly pleaded. “I didn’t mean to!” The woman looked so pale to Antonio, as if she were going to be sick at the sight of his blood. “I’ll be quick, I swear!” She was true to her word and cleaned Antonio’s wounds, quickly wrapping them back up.

Antonio grabbed at her arm as she stood to leave, just wanting to chat with her for a moment. He hadn’t spoken to anyone since Feliciano in the jail cell. The night he had escaped, Feliciano had ordered him not to say a word, not like he could speak anyway. All he wanted was human interaction, and to talk about Lovino again.

“What is it?” the woman asked, bending down to talk to him. “Is everything okay? Did I wrap them too tightly?”

“Where is he?” Antonio weakly asked her.

“Where is who?” she asked, confused. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

“Lovino,” he softly said. “Where is Lovino?”

“I do not know who you mean,” she softly said, “but I’m pretty sure he’s safe and well. Try not to worry about him, Mr. Fernandez Carriedo. Once you’re safe enough to travel, we’re going to send you back to Italy, which is where you came from, right?”

“Lovino,” Antonio softly said before losing consciousness.

.

One Month Later

Lovino stood outside of the shop, waiting. It felt like deja vu to him. He never thought he would be out there, waiting on Antonio to arrive, again. His heart raced madly in his chest this time, hoping that his beloved would return to him and remember who he was. That was all he could really hope for.

When a car with tinted windows pulled up, Lovino was pretty sure that was the car Antonio would be coming out of. And he was right.

The door opened and Antonio slowly emerged, his arm in a splint and a sling. His mouth stretched into a wide smile when he saw Lovino as he hurried over to him, pulling his love into a one-armed hug.

“Lovi!” he excitedly said. “You’re safe! I’m so glad you got out of there!”

Lovino tried to be happy that Antonio was back, but he couldn’t help but notice the pieces of Antonio that were missing as he ran over to hug him. He couldn’t help but notice the missing fingers, feeling the tears welling up in his eyes. What could possibly be done about that? There was nothing that he could do for Antonio’s fingers.

“Let’s get you inside,” the young Italian told his love, wrapping an arm around his waist in an attempt to steady him, but moreso to steady himself. He couldn’t stop shaking as he thanked the resistance members who brought him back. “Not much has changed since you left, except that we’re done with missions.”

“Because of me?” Antonio softly asked. He looked hurt by that comment. His lip quivered a little bit, as if he blamed himself for the fact that the last mission he ever went on failed because of him.

“Not because of you, idiota,” Lovino grumbled. “It got too dangerous, and when you were taken away….” He wanted to tell Antonio how worried he was, but the words just wouldn’t come. “It scared me, okay? I was the one who decided on no more missions.” His eyes locked with Antonio’s. “It’s not your fault. Now, Nonno made dinner, so I hope you’re hungry.”

“Starved,” Antonio assured, smiling his usual carefree smile at Lovino. It were almost as if he had never been captured, the only proof of his capture being his missing fingers and broken bones. Other than that, he seemed to be just fine. “I can’t wait to see what he made!”

Lovino felt suspicious, but he decided not to say anything. Was all of this just a show? Was Antonio going to crack later on? It concerned him, and he hoped that he wasn’t going to be right about that.

.

The whole evening went the same as the meet-up went. Antonio acted the same as he always did with them, but Roma and Lovino felt uneasy. It was what Roma would’ve called “putting on a brave face”, but Lovino was having none of it. Neither of them wanted to ask what had happened to Antonio, terrified that they would trigger a flashback or something, having been explicitly told not to in the letter from the resistance members of Berlin.

Lovino walked Antonio to his/Feliciano’s bedroom in silence, hoping that Antonio would leave it that way. He felt awkward, for some reason, though he couldn’t explain why. Shouldn’t he feel excited that his love was back with him? Why wasn’t he showering him with kisses?

As the thought more about it, he realized what it was. This wasn’t his Antonio. Sure, it was Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, but this wasn’t the Antonio that he knew. Something about him changed, but not just physically.

“Lovi,” Antonio said, stopping outside of the bedroom door. “Would you mind coming into the room with me? There are some things I wish to discuss with you.”

“Like what?” Lovino asked. “Toni, it’s been a long day. Don’t you want to sleep?”

“Not until we talk,” Antonio said, voice solemn and serious. “We need to talk about Feli.”

So that was probably why he was acting weird. He had wanted to talk about Feliciano all day, but he couldn’t because Roma didn’t know. Was it true that Feliciano busted him out of the German base? Hopefully Lovino would find out everything he wanted to know about the escape.

The young Italian pushed his boyfriend into the bedroom and shut the door after them, turning on the lantern. “What about Feli? What happened? Is everything okay? Was he the one to bust you out?” The questions all came in a fast flurry, all to be stopped by Antonio’s lips on his, which came as a surprise, but a welcomed surprise.

“Look, your brother,” Antonio softly began after kissing his love. He bit his lip. How could he say what he wanted to. “He’s not the same Feli you always told me about.”

“What do you mean?” Lovino asked. “Of course he is. I saw him with my own eyes near the beginning of the summer. He’s the same Feliciano that I remember.” He blinked in surprise. “Are you trying to tell me that was all an act?”

Antonio didn’t know where to go from there. “Look, when I got to his base, things didn’t go so well between us.”

“What are you trying to say?” the Italian asked, feeling his stomach turning into a knot. “What did my brother do to you?”

“Well, first off, he spat at me,” Antonio began.

Lovino shook his head in defiance. “That doesn’t sound like my brother at all. Surely you must have mistaken him for another person. Feliciano Vargas would never do something like that to someone like you.”

“So you think there’s another Major Vargas in Berlin with a limp who looks strikingly similar to you, just not as handsome?” Antonio asked Lovino.

The young Italian let that all sink in. “Shit…” he finally muttered. “So I take it he didn’t help you escape then?”

“He did,” Antonio softly said, “but only once he realized that I loved you, and truly loved only you with all of my heart.”

“How did he figure that out?” Lovino asked him.

Antonio shook his head. “It doesn’t matter,” he sighed. “All that matters is that you and I are finally together again.” He smiled at Lovino. “Lovi, I don’t ever want to leave your side again.”

“I don’t want you to leave me either,” Lovino softly admitted. He couldn’t believe that he was actually saying something like that out loud. It was so embarrassing to him, but it was how he truly felt. He couldn’t imagine his life without the stunning Spaniard. All he wanted in the world was the wake up next to him every morning and know that he loved him more than anyone else in the entire world. Was that too much to ask for?

The Spaniard smiled down at his favorite Italian. “You see, Lovi, I’m yours if you want me,” he said. “I may not be all in one piece anymore.” He raised his hands, which were missing two fingers, and frowned. “But I promise you that no one in this world loves you as much as I do.”

Lovino felt his heart pounding in his chest. He felt his blood thrumming and flowing in his ears. He could’ve sworn he’d gone deaf from it. Everything in his body was screaming at him to just embrace the man before him and kiss him and tell him that he loved him too, but his entire body was frozen in place. What could he do?

“Ti amo,” he softly said, looking up into Antonio’s eyes. That was all his body would allow him to say or do.

But that was just enough for Antonio. He embraced Lovino and kissed him all over his face before resting one big, lasting kiss on the Italian’s lips. His hands caressed Lovino’s sides as they kissed, Lovino’s hands doing the same to Antonio. The two wanted more and more of each other the longer they kissed. All of the love between the two finally building up into a crescendo.

“Would now be a better time to ask you to make love to me?” Lovino breathlessly asked Antonio.

“I thought you would never ask,” Antonio answered, a wide smile on his face. He maneuvered their way over to the bed and gently laid Lovino down onto it as they both began to remove their clothing. “Yes, now is the perfect time.”

“Then will you, Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, make love to me, Lovino Vargas?” the Italian asked.

“And only you until the day I die,” Antonio answered, smiling.

Lovino smiled widely. “That sounds like a deal to me.” He then grabbed his charming Spanish lover and pulled him in for another kiss.

.

The next morning, the two men woke up entangled in the sheets and entangled in each other, but neither of them cared. They were too in love to care. Both of them felt amazing, though Lovino felt a little sore. That was to be expected, though. 

Lovino smiled at Antonio as he opened his eyes to see the Spaniard still had his eyes closed. He was happy that he woke up first, being able to admire Antonio for a few moments before he woke up as well. His hand reached up to caress Antonio’s face, only to be kissed by the Spaniard’s soft lips.

“Buenos dias, Lovi,” Antonio greeted with a smile.

“Good morning, Antonio,” Lovino greeted. “How did you sleep?”

“Honestly, it was the best I’ve slept in a long time,” Antonio admitted. “And having you here beside me was what made it so perfect.” He wrapped his arms around Lovino’s waist and pulled him closer. “You are what makes my life perfect.”

“Oh, please,” Lovino scoffed. He made an attempt to push Antonio away, but failed miserably and snuggled him instead. “Enough with the sappy talk. You’re making me embarrassed.”

“Then maybe you should get embarrassed. Red is a nice color on you.” Antonio smiled. “It reminds me of tomatoes.”

“Get over yourself,” Lovino grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. He leaned his head on Antonio’s chest and listened to his heartbeat. It was so soothing to him, and it felt just right to him. His eyes refused to look at the stumps where his fingers once were. That was still too much for him. But lying right there with Antonio, just the way there were at that moment, was just right.

Antonio began to softly hum, and Lovino recognized the song right away. It was the song the two had sung together on so many occasions since the Spaniard had arrived. “I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire”.

“Did I start a flame in your heart, Lovi?” Antonio asked him.

“More than just a flame,” Lovino answered. “It’s not a roaring fire. You set my heart ablaze, Toni. You have reached the goal you’re dreaming of.”

Antonio then began to belt out that all-too-familiar tune that they both knew by heart at that point.

“And I do feel the same,” Lovino told him. He smiled and finished off the song for his love.

“And you have,” Antonio told him. “That flame will keep burning until the end of time itself.”

Lovino smiled and snuggled into Antonio, glad that he had finally found someone who loved every bit of himself, even his moods and his flaws. He was glad that someone loved him for him, and not just because he looked close enough to Feliciano to love. His heart finally felt full, knowing that the most wonderful man in the world loved him and only him. Things finally felt like they were going to be okay.

And maybe they finally were.

.

The End


End file.
